5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Comrade Lev

    in

    Q: Comrade Lev, why now, just when things are getting better for your people, are you applying for an exit visa to make aliyah to Israel? A: Well, comrade, there are two reasons. One is that my next-door neighbor is Pamyat and he tells me that after they get rid of you communists, they are…

  • Job Interview Question

    in

    You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect man (or woman)…

  • Definition of Kinky

    in

    One night at a bar a guy and a woman happen to meet. The woman confides, “I was recently divorced, I’m embarrassed to say, but it’s because my husband said I was too kinky.” The guy gasps and says, “I am also recently divorced, and my wife complained I was too kinky.” The woman says,…

  • Yo Mommas So Old…….

    in

    Yo mommas so old that when she was in school they didn’t have history.

  • Cancelled

    in

    At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been cancelled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are…

  • Cheese Sandwich

    in

    A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: ————————————— | Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 | | Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 | | Hand Job: $10.00 | ————————————— Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive…

  • NO SWIMMING

    in

    A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn’t see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her that swimming was…

  • AIM

    in

    I was watching my friend instant message. She was talking to a kid that she knew. The kid had lost his hat. I suggested, rather foolishly, to look in his nose. (As a joke, of course) My friend typed this. He then wrote (without seeing the message that my friend wrote) I’m going to look…

  • Grasshopper

    in

    A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender smiles and says “Hey, ya know we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper stops and says “Really? You have a drink called Steve?”

  • This is Finland

    in

    +15°C / 59°F This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we’ll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan. +10°C / 50°F The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Finns plant flowers in their gardens. +5°C…

  • Redneck on the Road

    in

    This guy is walking along a dirt road when he stumbles upon a redneck lying on the ground with his ear in the dirt. “Are you alright? What are you doing?” the man asks but gets no answer at all. The redneck doesn’t even acknowledge that he is there. So after a while of silence…

  • Concrete Wall

    in

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam”.