5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Golf Pro

    in

    A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range. The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says not bad. Golf pro: “Now hold…

  • Commander

    in

    CO-PILOT: Commander! We are being attacked! COMMANDER: Report your height and status! CO-PILLOT: I’m 5’11 and sittin’ in the cockpit.

  • Boats.

    in

    During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried. After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat…

  • Midget Walks Into a bar

    in

    A midget walks into a bar and trips over some sh*t left on the floor. Luckily no one saw him, so to avoid embarrassment, he doesn’t make a fuss about it. So he goes to bar and orders a drink. A few minutes later a big fella comes to the bar and trips over the…

  • Banana (not Like the Other Bananas)

    in

    Knock Knock Who’s there ! Banana ! Banana who ? Banana split, so ice creamed !

  • Crossword Picture

    in

    A man was solving a crossword. For a four-letter word there was a clue: Look at the picture ! The man entered: I see .

  • Canada vs USA

    in

    In the USA they go ice skating. In Canada we go skating; we just assume it will be on ice!

  • Rock/paper/scissors

    in

    I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why isn’t…

  • A Lecture

    in

    After a party, one man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 o’clock in the morning?” the officer asked. “I’m going to a lecture,” the man said.…

  • A Wise Child

    in

    A little boy is leaving school at the end of the day. As he strolls along the sidewalk, a car pulls up to the curb, and a man winds down the window. “Hey, kid, I’ve got candy in my car. Hop in and I’ll give it to you.” “No. I’m not going to.” The boy…

  • Bad Boyfriend

    in

    One night a blond teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and a pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.” “Oh please, Mom,”…

  • Wall to Wall

    in

    What did the wall say to the picture? How’s it hangin`?