5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Get the Quarterback!

    in

    Ben and Zero are talking when Ben says, “Hey, Zero, if you can tear this piece of paper in half, I’ll give you a quarter.” Zero then proceeds to tear the paper in half. Ben takes one of the halves, tears it in half, and gives it to Zero, saying, “Here’s your quarter!” Zero wanders…

  • The 8:15

    in

    A woman goes into a doctor’s office complaining that she has constant pains in her stomach. The doctor brings her into the examining room and asks, “Well, Ma’am, are you constipated?” The woman replies, “No, I am not. I go to the bathroom every morning at 8:15, just like clockwork.” The doctor asks, “Every day,…

  • Talking Dog

    in

    A man asked people for fifty-thousand dollars for his talking dog. He brings him into the bar, but the bartender doesn’t believe the dog can talk so the guy asks the dog, “What’s the opposite of smooth?” The dog says, “Rough.” And then the guy asks the dog, “What’s the part of the house that…

  • Guide to Sex

    in

    Woman’s guide to sex: Lay there and pretend to enjoy the experience and when it is done tell your partner it was the best you ever had. Man’s guide to sex” In, Out repeat if necessary!

  • Lost in Translation

    in

    The American Dairy Association was so successful with its “Got Milk?” campaign, that it was decided to extend the ads to Mexico. Unfortunately, the Spanish translation was “Are you lactating?” Electrolux, a Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer, used this ad in the U.S.: “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.” Colgate introduced a toothpaste called “Cue” in France, but…

  • To Kill a Circus

    in

    How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler!

  • YO MAMMA…………

    in

    yo mamma is so thin when she turns sidways she dissapears

  • Accidents

    in

    The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. “Ever have an accident?” “Nope, nary a one.” “None? You’ve never had any accidents.” “Nope. Ain’t never had one. Never.” “Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn’t…

  • Doctor Golf

    in

    Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop. “I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon. “What for?” asked his colleague. “About $17,000.” “What did he have?” “Oh… About $17,000.”

  • Says

    in

    Knock-knock Whose there? Says Says who? Says me

  • The Kidnapping

    in

    A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning,…

  • Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way

    in

    A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will. At his lawyer’s office, he threw his will on the table and said, “This needs an heircut.”