Jokes

  • Just Posing a Question…

    Ever walk into a room and forget what you came in for? Well, that’s probably how dogs spend most of their lives…

  • Bungee Jumping

    Eric A. barcia, a 22-year-old Reston, VA resident, was found dead yesterday after he used bungee cords to jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said. The fast food worker taped a number of bungee cords together and strapped one end around his foot. barcia had the foresight to anchor the other end to the…

  • State Slogans

    Alabama: At Least We’re not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t be Wrong! Arizona: But It’s a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain’t Everthing California: As Seen on TV Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water Florida: Ask…

  • Stupid Prisoner

    There were three prisoners who were about to be executed by the electric chair. The guards strapped down the first one, a Frenchman, onto the chair, and they asked him for his last words. “Vive la France!” he said, meaning ‘Long live France’. When they pulled the switch, nothing happened. Everyone was amazed and thought…

  • Annoy2

    How To Annoy People In An Elevator: Ask, “Did you hear that cable snapping sound?” Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!” Hum the theme from Mission Impossible…

  • Cross the Road #1

    Q: What did the chicken say after it crossed the road? A: “Why is everyone always talking about me?”

  • WIFE VS. HUSBAND

    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

  • More Rope

    There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents’ house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder…

  • Jogging

    Why does Tommy run around the school track 98 times every day? He has a run track mind.

  • Here’s a Clue

    A couple who lived together were talking one day, trying to figure out how to entertain themselves on a rainy day. “Let’s play Hide and Seek,” said the woman. “I’ll hide and if you find me we’ll have sex!” “But what if I can’t find you?” asked her boyfriend. “I’ll be behind the piano,” she…

  • I Am A Bitch!

    Was there any doubt?

  • Dreams

    Dreams are like underpants. You’ve got ’em, but you can’t prove you do by showing it to everyone.