Jokes

  • The Man’s Point System

    THE MAN’S POINTS SYSTEM For all you guys out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing…

  • The Roof

    If your uncle Jack was stuck on a roof, would you help your uncle Jack off?

  • Carol was Having Trouble…

    Carol was having trouble with her computer. So she called Glenn, the computer guy, over to her desk. Glenn clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Carol called after him, “So, what was wrong?” And he replied, “It was an ID Ten T Error.” A puzzled expression ran riot…

  • New IRS Tax

    The only thing the Internal Revenue Service has not yet taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed. 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off, and 10% of the time it’s in the hole.…

  • Dating Hints For Gentlemen

    There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date… I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. I refuse to get cable. That’s how they keep tabs on you. I used to come…

  • Opportunity

    Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. – Thomas Alva Edison.

  • Defining the Americans

    . We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car. We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs. We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if…

  • What Children Say IV

    Kid’s Instructions on Life… “Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.” – Rocky, age 9 “Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning.” – Stephanie, age 8 “Don’t flush the john when your dad’s in the shower.” – Lamar, age 10 “Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents…

  • Berlin Wall

    How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it.

  • Take A Look!

    Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian’s head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, “I hate Indians; last week they burnt…

  • STEPPETSPETS

    What is represented by this? STEPPETSPETS One step forward, two steps back!

  • Will

    She left him because he had a will of his own. And it wasn’t made out to her!