5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Lemon Grove

    in

    Lemon Grove A woman was applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove. When the foreman looked over her application, he felt she was far too qualified for the job. “Look, Miss Carter,” said the foreman, “do you have any actual experience in picking lemons?” “Oh, yes, I certainly do,” she replied. “I’ve been…

  • Kenyans

    in

    Why aren’t there more Kenyans in the Olympics? All the rest couldn’t outrun the slave traders!

  • These Three Guys

    in

    There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfie. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night, they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The…

  • Dog Poop

    in

    Young Justin has a cursing problem, and his father’s getting tired of it. He decides to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink says, “Negative reinforcement. Since Christmas is coming up, ask Justin what he wants from Santa. If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop…

  • The Desperate Man

    in

    A man was staying over at a farmer’s house for the night. However, the farmer warned: “My daughter is sleeping in the room next door. I’m going to put a wall of eggs around her bed to make sure that you don’t go near her, understand?” The man nodded weakly, for she saw the daughter…

  • Laugh

    in

    I’m the kind of person who laughs at a joke three times: Once it’s told, once it’s explained, and 5 minutes later once I get it.

  • The Must-Have Wallet Guide

    in

    Every “Hormone Hostage” knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other. DANGEROUS:…

  • Signs You Know Your Accountant Is Nuts!

    in

    ·In several places on your tax forms, he’s written, “Give or take a million dollars.” ·Tells you to put all your money into British cattle futures. ·You notice that his “calculator” is just a broken VCR remote. ·Insists that there’s no such number as four. ·He laughed at the Bob Dole background check. ·Counts family…

  • Women and Toys

    in

    A woman’s breasts are like a child’s toys. They are meant for the child – but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

  • Beautiful Woman

    in

    What do you say to a redneck with a beautiful woman on his arm? “Hey, nice tattoo!”

  • Always Remember

    in

    Remember, no-one is listening until you fart.

  • Bank Robbers

    in

    A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, “Now, do you remember what the plan is?”…