Jokes

  • Devotion

    Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. “She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home,” she said. “What an example of devotion,” Dave replied. “I wonder if you’d be that concerned about me?” “Honey,”…

  • A Small Boy…

    A small boy stunned his parents after Sunday School when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, “Where did you get all that money?” “At church,” the boy replied nonchalantly. “They have bowls of it.”

  • Back to School

    Why did the kid walk backwards to school? Because it was back to school day!

  • School Reunion

    Jack hadn’t been to a school reunion in decades. When he walked in, Jack thought he recognised a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting. “You look like Helen Brown,” he remarked. “Well”, replied the angry woman, “you don’t look so great in blue either!”

  • As Good As Putting It In

    A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, “I had an affair with a woman… almost.” The priest says, “What do you mean, almost?” The man says, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” The priest replies, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to…

  • Tooth Fairy

    Q: What does the tooth fairy give for half a tooth? A: Nothing. She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth

  • A Local Law Enforcement Office…

    A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. “Fred,” he replies. Fred what?”…

  • Vive La Difference! II

    If you can touch it and you can see it, it’s REAL. If you can touch it but you can’t see it, it’s TRANSPARENT. If you can’t touch it but you can see it, it’s VIRTUAL. If you can’t touch it and you can’t see it, it’s GONE.

  • What Is…

    What is black and white and red all over? An embarrassed zebra

  • This is a Very Long Line That…

    This is a very long line that goes on and on and just when you think it is over it starts again going on and on but you know it cannot keep on forever until it starts repeating itself about being a very long line that goes on and on and just when you think…

  • East to West

    East to the Sea, West to the Land, Death to the B***h that touches my Man.

  • Morning Wood

    MORNING WOOD! Get ready… this is quite possibly one of the funniest true stories I’ve read in a long while! No matter how many times I read it, I still can’t keep the tears away! I caution the weak of heart before reading today’s joke – you know who you are – so you might…