5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • How to Torture Your Teacher

    in

    1. Only raise your hand when you want to sharpen your pencil or go to the bathroom. Repeat every ten minutes. 2. Never raise your hand when you want to answer a question; instead, yell, “Ooooh! Oooh! Oooh!” and then, when the teacher calls on you, say, “I forgot what I was going to say.”…

  • Must See Annual Sale

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    It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be…

  • Someone

    in

    “All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.” -Jane Wagner

  • 17 Ways to Answer a Salesman

    in

    1. San Diego police department, how may we help you? 2. Hi! Would you like to buy a new sofa, fridge or car? What about a vacuum? 3. Hello earthling. I am an alien. You may not know this, but right now, I am having sex with your ear. 4. Let your child answer the…

  • Jorge, the Nicely Tanned Head-Janitor, at the Hospital

    in

    A new intern at Heart & Cross Hospital was looking for an experienced doctor to sign off on him sending a patient to surgery. He saw a nicely tanned man giving orders to someone else so he walked up to him. “Could you sign this for me?” he asked. The man signed the sheet and…

  • A Heady Proposition

    in

    Customer: “I have a big problem. You cut off my head!” Me: “I’m sorry? How did I cut off your head?” (The customer shows me an obviously self-taken picture, with the top of his head removed.) Me: “Sir, it looks like it was taken that way.” Customer: “No it wasn’t! My whole head was there…

  • The Chase

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    One day a couple of rabbits found themselves being chased by a pack of wolves. They dashed into a thicket, and stood there panting. “So,” gasped one to the other, “do you think we should keep running, or stay here until we outnumber them?”

  • The “fishing” Trip

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    A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband’s best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the…

  • Fun Quiz 2

    in

    What did one glass say to another glass? Lets have a break. What did one ghost say to another ghost? Do you believe in people? What did one chair say to another chair? Here comes another bum.

  • The New Priest

    in

    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass, he asked the bishop how he had done. The bishop replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I…

  • Amazing Facts 6

    in

    #1 In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed. #2 Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside. #3 Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams. #4 It cost the soft drink industry $100 million a year for thefts committed involving…

  • Grumpy

    in

    Q: Which sea animal is very grumpy? A: The crab!