Jokes

  • An Unbreakable Toy Is…

    An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

  • Yo Momma Head So Small

    Yo momma’s head so small, she use a tea-bag as a pillow. Yo momma’s head so small, she got her ear pierced and died.

  • Conserve Water

    Conserve water. Shower with a friend.

  • When Pigs Fly

    It was often said that if an African American was ever voted in to be the President of the United States, that would be the the day that pigs fly. 100 days after President barack Obama is in office, swine flu.

  • A New Flagpole

    I’m so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

  • Forest Gump Dies and Goes to Heaven

    St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates and says, “Well, Forest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard so many good things about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been giving an entrance quiz for everyone. The tests are short, but you need to…

  • Vote For ME!

    What happens when a president gets elected in a year with a “0” at the end? 1840: William Henry Harrison (Died in Office) 1860: Abraham Lincoln (Assassinated) 1880: James A. Garfield (Assassinated) 1900: William McKinley (Assassinated) 1920: Warren G. Harding (Died in Office) 1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (Died in Office) 1960: John F. Kennedy (Assassinated)…

  • The Top 10 Reasons Why Hillary Wants to be President:

    10. She wants her own intern. 9. She wants to complete her china and silver collection. 8. Brother-in-law Roger needs another pardon. 7. She wants to lease the Lincoln Bedroom to Marc Rich. 6. She wants to rename Camp David to Camp Denise. 5. She wants to pick up the rest of the furniture. 4.…

  • Job Application- Stupid

    Yo Momma is so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put “Okay!”

  • Parasite

    How did the parasite cross the road? It hopped on the chicken!

  • The Genie

    A man is walking down the beach when he comes upon a magic lamp. He rubs it and a genie pops out. The man immediately demands his three wishes. The genie first warns the man that whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law will get double. Figuring it wasnt all that bad the man thinks about…

  • Zookeeper

    Two guys own a zoo. To their angst their lone female gorilla goes into heat. Knowing she will be violent if not looked after they take her to a vet for advice. He says she needs to be bred by a male gorilla. Knowing they can’t find a male they weigh their options. One says…