5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • At the Beach

    in

    One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach. But the man thought and thought looking around. Nojoke is here so he doesn’t care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case. Soon…

  • Bush’s Advisors

    in

    G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, “Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you.” She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, “Tony, your parents had a baby.…

  • Short Jokes 1

    in

    1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common? A: They’re both fun to…

  • What Do You Think

    in

    A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked joke in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted to do…

  • An Affair

    in

    I once knew a boy who was dating his left hand and having an affair with his right.

  • Pilot Wisdom

    in

    1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous. 4.…

  • Heavenly Voice Mail

    in

    Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following: Thank you for calling heaven. For English press 1 For Spanish press 2 For all…

  • Some More Things Men Would Never Say

    in

    Hunny, you forgot to put down the toilet seat again. Oh my God! you don’t know how to fix a car. Wife says: How do I look? Man: Terrible, go change!

  • Tornado Disaster

    in

    President Bush toured parts of Missouri that were devastated by a recent tornado. There was one awkward moment, when the President looked at the tornado damage and said, “Don’t worry, we’re going to get whoever did this.”

  • Doctor Doodles

    in

    The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians. (Courtesy of Richard Lederer, Ph.D.”Fractured English.”) – By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better. – Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. – The patient…

  • Inverse Functions

    in

    To find the inverse of a function, you reverse the process. To find the inverse of putting on your socks and shoes, how do you start? Socks first!

  • animal Marital Aides

    in

    It’s a beautiful spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s got on a close-fitting, lowcut, pink summer dress with spaghetti straps. As they walk thru the ape exhibit, and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, he grunts,…