Jokes
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Harry’s Nurse
in JokesHarry was in the hospital. He was an old man, and from time to time the young nurse would come in and say in a patronising tone, “And how are we doing this morning?” Well, this is a story of revenge. Harry had received breakfast, and had taken the juice off the tray, putting it…
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Weird Signs
in Jokes#1 At a Gift shop Counter ‘”My One and only” Valentine cards, Is now available in Multi-packs!!’ #2 At a Washing Machine in a Washers ‘When Finished, Please Remove Pants’ #3 At a Handdryer in a Toilet ‘Warning: Please do not operate this machine with wet hands!’ #4 At a Highway beside a river ‘Warning:…
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History Class
in JokesToday in history class the topic was the Incas. Hoping to see if the students had done the reading, the teacher calls on random students and asks them questions. “Where could the Incas be found?” The teacher’s first question. “Jonie?” foolishly she called on the blonde. Not having actually done the homework, and only halfway…
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Yo Momma’s So Ugly!
in JokesYo momma’s so ugly, you can press her face in some dough and make gorilla cookies!
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Toilet Seat
in JokesA man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large…
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Haunted Husband
in JokesA couple had been married for a long time, but could never get along very well. Many times, late at night, there would be screams and shouts from their house. The old man often screamed these words at her in public, “I’m sick and tired of you! When I die, I will come out of…
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A Good Egg
in JokesTwo eggs sitting on a kitchen table, when one sees a whisk. He says to his friend, “Ooh, what’s that?” The friend replies, “Beats me!”
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Thermometer
in JokesWhat’s the differance between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The Taste…
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The New Maid
in JokesA guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, “Who is this?” “This is the maid.”, answered the woman. “We don’t have a maid!” “I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house.” “Well, this is her husband. Is she there?” “Ummm …. she’s upstairs in…
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Dating Vs. Marriage
in JokesWhen you are dating….. Farting is never an issue. When you are married ….You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times. When you are dating….. He takes you out to have a good time. When you are married ….He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to…
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Again It’s Another Chicken Joke Not Involving Crossing the Road
in JokesWhat do you call a chicken? A chicken.