Jokes
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Ok, This is Kind of Lame…
in JokesIf ham is Canadian bacon, then what the heck do you Canadians call bacon?
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More Strange Word Fun
in JokesA hangover is the wrath of grapes. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Banning the bra was a big flop. Sea captains don’t like crew cuts. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? A successful diet is the triumph…
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Moose Hunting
in JokesTwo hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it. They…
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Confused Boy
in JokesA little boy was sitting on the couch while his parents were arguing. “I don’t want your bastard family coming over for Thanksgiving.” said his mom. “Mom, what’s a bastard?” asked the little boy. “Oh, that is just your dad’s family.” she replied. “Well I don’t want those bitches you call family to come either!”…
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Horse Buying
in JokesKevin attended a horse auction with his father, watching as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Kevin asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that…
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Leipzig Trade Fair
in JokesDuring a visit to the Leipzig Trade Fair, a filthy rich oil sheik heard that there is a car with a delivery time of over ten years. Since Rolls Royce usually delivers more quickly than that, it must be quite an exceptional car, which he would certainly have to have in his collection. Sight unseen,…
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I Need it Badly
in JokesNow I haven’t known you very long and I shouldn’t be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven’t had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no…
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A Few Mottos
in JokesNever put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. Indecision is the key to flexibility. Hang in there, retirement is only 30 years away! Aim low; reach your goals; avoid disappointment. Teamwork means never having to take the blame yourself. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. If…
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Lousiana Law
in JokesA big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,…
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How to Keep Her Busy
in JokesHow do you keep a blond busy? Write “please turn over” on both sides of a paper!