Jokes

  • The Moods of Women and Men

    The mood of a woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction, A woman is a bundle of contradiction, She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse, But will tackle a stranger alone in the house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose, She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up…

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 27

    For Spring Break ’05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels. The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. They didn’t even come close. Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of…

  • Horse’s Favourite

    What is a horse’s favourite Shakepearean play? Rodeo and Juliet

  • What Did You Say?

    Joseph, Mary and their son were doing chores around their home in Nazareth when suddenly, Jesus ran outside to Joseph, and asked, “Did you call me?” “No, I’m sorry,” Joseph replied, “I just hit my thumb with the hammer again.”

  • What’s Wrong With that Guy?

    “What’s wrong with you?” you asked a very dumb guy that was taking your order at the newest resturant in town. “The doctor doesn’t know yet, hehe (snort).”

  • Atlas

    Atlas is the biggest thief in history, because he held up the whole world.

  • Where Did You Get that Thing?

    A huge black man entered in a bar with a huge and colorful parrot on his shoulder. The bartender was amazed, so he asked “Where did you get that thing?” Then the parrot said, “Well they’re walking all over Africa…”

  • The New Guy

    A newcomer in town goes to a bar, the bar manager notices he is new and says, “Sir, you’re new, and when you’re new, you have to drink a whole barrel of beer, then fix the crocodile’s sore tooth, then you give that nice lady right there a hug, or you can’t come to this…

  • Slower

    A guy goes to the dentist and says, “How much to get these two teeth pulled?” “$80 a tooth,” he replies. “For two minutes work! That’s crazy!” said the patient. “Trust me,” said the dentist, “You don’t want me to do it any slower.

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 20

    Chuck Norris’ testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight? There…

  • Today

    I can only be kind to one person a day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Today is not your day.

  • Mama!

    A woman’s child said, “Yo Mama, I hate you because you made me a boy, not a girl!” The woman said, “Wait! If you were a girl, someone would have to cut into you to get your baby!” The child said “Have you lost your mind?! I want the baby to know that she/he was…