Jokes

  • Three Ears

    Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears? No, how was that? He had a right ear,a left ear,and a wild frontier.

  • You’re So Slow…

    You’re so slow that if you were a train engine, the caboose would be leading.

  • Depressed Crocodile

    One day, a depressed crocodile decides to see his doctor about his problems. He says, “Doc, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I don’t feel like killing people anymore. I don’t like attacking them, I don’t like wrestling them in the water, and I definitely don’t like eating them.” The doctor goes over to…

  • The Poker Player

    A man walks into a bar and notices that there is a game of poker taking place at a table in the corner of the room. To his amazement, one of the players is a German Shepherd, studying his hand intently. He asks the barman, “Is that dog actually playing poker?” “He certainly is, sir,”…

  • Reverse Words

    I’m dyslexic, and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experiences with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I reverse words and letters when I’m tense. When I finished speaking, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, “Now I…

  • Blonde Paint

    Have you heard about the new blonde paint? It’s not too bright but it spreads real easy.

  • Suger Sweetnezz

    Why did the boy sprinkle sugar underneath his pillow that night? He wanted to have sweet dreams.

  • Double D

    A well-endowed university student was always being teased by her sorority sisters for being a size 36DD. One night, at a fraternity party, a young man asked her what she would like to drink. “I’ll have a diet soda, please,” she replied. “Oh, you must be the double D,” he said. Furious, the girl wondered…

  • This is a Test

    This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one. By giving an honest answer you will be able to find out where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely fictional situation, in which you will have to make a decision one way or the other. Remember that your answer needs to…

  • Blonde Football

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. “Oh, I really liked it,” she said, “but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents.” What on earth do you mean???” Well, I…

  • Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow

    Once there were two farmers; one had a daughter and the other had a son. When their kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farmers encouraged it. One day the girl’s father went over to the other farmer’s house and said that he didn’t want their children dating any more. The boy’s father…

  • Pig

    What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment.