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Jokes

  • If You Find…

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    If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow — even during a hurricane! — here is a valuable tip: Your life is in trouble.

  • So Stupid

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    yo momma is so stupid she drowned in the shower.

  • Stupid Asked Questions

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    Below are questions that people “actually asked” of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity. (Source: Outside Magazine) Grand Canyon National Park… Was this man-made? Do you light it up at night? I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom –…

  • Did You Ever Get a Call Like This?

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    You know, luckily they have this fraud protection thing going around. It’s supposed to save your butt if it’s happened to you. Capital one has it, Visa, Master Card, etc. If they notice some unusual activity, they’ll give you a call like this: “Hi, this is Capital One calling. We’ve noticed a lot of unusual…

  • The Murder Trial

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    In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner: No. Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t sure the man…

  • Dry Cleaners

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    A lady was at the bar when a guy started hitting on her. She said “I’ll send my pants to you from the dry cleaners, that way you can get into them on you own time.”

  • The Foreign Man

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    There was an foreign man who knew a little english and lived in a hotel. One day he told the waitress “I wanta fuck” the waitress said “what!!!” I wanta fuck, I wanta fuck on the table.” The waitress answered and said “you better not you son of a bitch” so the waitress left mad…

  • WRIST WRIST

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    What does this represent? WRIST WRIST Tourists! (two wrists)

  • More Mistakes in Publication

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    More mistakes in publication, -Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. -Stock up and save. Limit: one. -Save regularly in our bank. You’ll never reget it. -We build bodies that last a lifetime. Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last. -This is the model home…

  • Guts !

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    One day an American General, a Russian General and an Indian General were all going to England in a ship. All of them were very boastful. AG : “I have the bravest and most courageous crew in the world. See for yourselves. Oy, you!” (he called to an American soldier) “Swim around this moving ship.”…

  • Two Buzzards…

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    Two buzzards were eating a dead clown. One said to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

  • Hey Mommy

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    Little Billy is at home and his mom is in the shower. Billy walks in on her and sees her breasts and says “Mommy what are those?” His mom replies, “Well, Billy, those are my headlights.” “Oh” says Billy. Then he looks down between her legs and sees hair there. “Mommy, what is that?” he…