Jokes
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Dictionary
in JokesHow is it we look in a dictionary to figure out how to spell something if we don’t know how to spell it?
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Guard Dog
in JokesMy sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn’t like men.” “Perfect,” my sister-in-law thought and took the dog. Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her…
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Keep It!
in JokesA radical feminist gets on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. “Here we go again,” she thinks to herself. “Yet another man attempting to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat,” and she pushes him back onto…
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I Am A Guy
in JokesBecause I’m a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I’ll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. Because I’m a guy, when I lock my keys in the…
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Lost in a Desert
in JokesA man is lost in the desert. He used up the last of his water three days ago and he’s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling “Mush! Mush!” Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time — “Mush!…
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The Car Race
in JokesThe Americans and the Russians had a car race, in which the car from America won. However, the report in the newspapers of Russia, read as follows â “In a recent motor race, the Russian car finished in second place, while the American car finished next to last.” (There were only two cars involved!)
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Honest Lawyer, Ulaiy
in JokesTwo lawyers were in a coffee shop talking. One of the lawyers names was Thomas Ulaiy (A-lie). After a while their conversation became rather morbid, and they started to talk about what they were going to have on their tomb stones. Thomas said the he wasn’t going to have his name put on his tomb…
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Anything But Cheerios
in JokesA 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old says, ”When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I’ll say ‘hell’ and you say ‘ass’.” The 4-year-old happily…
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Anger Management
in JokesFor all of you who say I need anger management… Just to let you know, if I could control my anger, I’d destroy you with it!