Jokes

  • Roosters

    One day on a farm a farmer gets a new rooster and puts it in the hen house. The new rooster is talking to the old rooster and the old rooster says, “Just let me have 2 chickens and I’ll leave you alone.” The young rooster says, “No old man these are my chickens.” So…

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 4

    Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and…

  • Dear Pastor I

    The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the world. Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God’s help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments, but I don’t think I want…

  • California

    What happens when the smog clears over southern California? UCLA

  • Drive-by

    What do you call a drive-by shooting in Chinatown? A cappuchino.

  • Favorite Child

    In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your…

  • Low IQ

    If your IQ was any lower you would trip on it.

  • Yes We Can 2

    “President Obama said in an interview over the weekend that he really misses being anonymous. He said, ‘I miss Saturday mornings rolling out of bed and not shaving, going to the market…’ Be careful what you wish for, 2012 is just around the corner!” –Jay Leno “President Obama announced that he will run for re-election…

  • 12 Reasons Homosexual Marriage Should Not Be Legal

    1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control. 2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children. 3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 4. Gay marriage will…

  • Missed it By an Inch

    I had a dream that I went to heaven. I was checking in at that gate with the last three presidents of the United States. I watched as George Sr., Bill Clinton, and George Jr. all walked through a bright door with an angel as an escort. I then gave Peter my name at the…

  • On the Airport

    We’re here on the airport, where a group of people have just arrived after being stranded on an island for more than a year.

  • The Sermon Today . . .

    The minister’s car wouldn’t start, so he called the garage. When the tow truck driver arrived, the minister says, “I hope you go easy on me. You know I’m only a poor preacher.” “Yep,” replied the tow truck driver, “I’ve heard you preach.”