Jokes

  • Men Suck

    What do you do if you find your old man staggering around the backyard? Shoot him again!!!

  • Poor Dog

    Why did the poor dog chase his tail? He was trying to make ends meet!

  • Venice

    If it weren’t for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for everyjoke.

  • Appendicitis

    A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, “You have acute appendicitis.” The blonde yelled at the doctor, “I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!”

  • No I in Team!

    Ben never saw action on his high school football team. One day, the assistant coach gave him a pep talk. “Remember, Ben,” he told him, “everyone on this team has an important role. There is no ‘I’ in ‘team’.” “True,” said the boy. “But there is a ‘Ben’ in ‘bench’.”

  • Two Guys are Moving About…

    Two guys are moving about in a Walmart when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.” “What a coincidence, so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.” “Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?” “She’s tall, with dark hair, long…

  • Cream Filling

    Q: What do you say when you see a group full of black people? A: Where is the cream filling?

  • Frank and Matt

    Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couple of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a…

  • Mums the Word

    What do you call a mouth without any teeth?- Grandma

  • How to Punctuate

    An English teacher wrote this phrase on the board and asked her students to properly punctuate it: “Woman without her man is nothing.” MEN WROTE: Woman, without her man, is nothing. WOMEN WROTE: Woman! Without her, man is nothing.

  • If Flying Is…

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  • What Children Say VIII

    Dear God, The bad people laughed at Noah – “You made an ark on dry land, you fool”. But he was smart, he stuck with You. That’s what I would do. – Eddie Dear God, I do not think anyjoke could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know but I am…