5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Antarctica

    in

    Yo momma is so fat and dumb, she used Antarctica as a popsicle!

  • No Glasses

    in

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married.” “Honey,” he replied with a grin,…

  • Wonder????

    in

    If you’re fat. can you still disapear into thin air? If you’re fat, can you still have slim chances of doing something?

  • Cards That You Won’t Find At Hallmark

    in

    Cards That You Won’t Find At Hallmark – “Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: What was I thinking?” “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to…

  • All New “12 Days”

    in

    On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me: TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in…

  • Bumper Stickers

    in

    1/20/09: End of an Error That’s OK, I Wasn’t Using My Civil Liberties Anyway Let’s Fix Democracy in This Country First If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran If You Can Read This, You’re Not Our President Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet? George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have…

  • Novocain

    in

    “Are you sure you don’t want some Novocain?” asked the dentist. “I’m sure,” replied the maharishi. “I wish to transcend dental medication.”

  • Elephants Coming II

    in

    Q: What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming? A: Here come the plums; she was color blind.

  • Praying

    in

    Why is it that when we talk to God we call it praying, yet when God talks to us we are schizophrenic? -Lily Tomlin

  • The Brick Layer

    in

    Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day…

  • Now that Food Has Replaced Sex…

    in

    Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

  • KNock Knock Knock

    in

    Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey Who? Dewey(Do we) have to listen to all this knocking?