Jokes

  • Golfing

    Why does a man wear two pairs of pants when he goes golfing? He might get a hole in one!

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 28

    There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives. When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.…

  • Chinese Baby

    Mr. and Mrs. Wong are a married couple who live in China. After being married for three years, they decided to have a baby. They ended up having a baby girl with mental disabilities. They named her ‘Somting Wong’.

  • QUIET:

    Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?” She glanced at him casually and replied, “You’re never home!”

  • Why did she?

    Why did the white girl go have sex with a Mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an ESE.

  • Lol

    It’s pretty bad if you start typing “lol” as if it were a sentence (Lol.) Its worse if you start saying, “laugh out loud” in everday conversations. It’s absolutely horrible if you actually say, “l-o-l.”

  • Murder Case

    A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think…

  • National Anthem

    What does a blond think the last 2 words of the national anthem are? Play ball!

  • Intersection

    A police officer pulled over a vehicle that had just driven through an intersection without slowing for the traffic light, which flashes red continually. (It flashes amber for the cross direction.) The driver, blonde of course, explained, “But I didn’t go through on the RED, I went through on the BLACK!”

  • The Anniversary

    A very old man and a woman are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The man starts crying quietly. Touched by the mans sensitive side, she goes over to him, hugs him, and asks him whats the matter. The man says, “Remember when we were 15 and your daddy who was a sheriff caught us? And…

  • A**Holes

    Do you know why single women can’t fart? Because they don’t get assholes untill they get married.

  • No Child Left Behind Act

    Reacting to Federal guidelines, the State of FLORIDA, which has been highlighted as a role model for student testing by the Bush Administration’s Dept. of Education, has redesigned and just released a new comprehensive test to be given to all students beginning in the spring of the 2004-2005 school year. In response to President Bush’s…