Jokes
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Life’s Unanswered Questions, Part 3
in JokesHere are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about. 1) Can you cry under water? 2) How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 3) What disease did cured ham actually have? 4) How is it that we put man…
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A BLIND WHO CAN SEE
in JokesThere’s a blind old lady who live with her 5 grand children. Every morning the kid’s got up and prepared to go to school, just before they left they each gave her a kiss and walk out at the same time she touches’ the kid’s face and call out their name. After school they each…
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For Women Only
in JokesA group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor,…
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Little Leroy was at Home…
in JokesLittle Leroy was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.” At that moment, his mother came in and heard that he was cursing. “Leroy, what are you doing?! Why are you saying…
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Take The Train
in JokesA large two-engined train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of the engines broke down. “No problem,” the engineer thought, and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers…
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I Won!
in JokesThe politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He answered it and listened intently. After a brief moment, his face lit up with a smile. He hung up the phone and immediately called his mother to pass along the good news. “Ma, the results are in,” he shouted joyously. “I won…
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The Day Off
in JokesA doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. “Art, I am going hunting tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.” “Yes, sir!” answers Art. The doctor goes hunting and…
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You Might be a Redneck If:
in Jokes– Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch. – You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored. – You think the French Riviera is a foreign car. – You think you are an entrepreneur because of the “Dirt for Sale” sign in the front yard. – You’re still scalping tickets after the concert is…
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Chicken Sandwiches
in JokesA little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken…
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Serving Two Masters
in JokesA Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy. “Nothing easier,” Twain replied. “No man can serve two masters.”