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Jokes

  • Grizzly Fish

    in

    What do you get when you cross a fish and a grizzly? A Bearacuda.

  • The Ups & Downs of Business

    in

    El Nino storms are affecting trade with Asian countries. A freighter bound for Long Beach Calif. with a cargo of yo-yos got caught in a particularly violent storm and sank 65 times.

  • Hollywood Squares

    in

    These great questions and answers are from the “Hollywood Squares” game show. Responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their heads under water long enough. Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high…

  • Lots of Jokes (4)

    in

    Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A. Their both empty from the neck up. Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A. A blow job with handlebars. Q. What do you call a blond with a brain? A. A golden retriever. Q. What do you call a blonde…

  • Punishment for Bigamy

    in

    Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

  • Bush Joke

    in

    At a party, a man came up to a stranger and asked “Have you heard the latest Bush joke?” The man replies, “I am Bush.” The man said, “Oh. I’ll tell it slowly.”

  • Getting Cold Feet

    in

    Once there was a redneck groom about to get married. As he puts on the beaver pelt suit, he is talking to his dad. “Hey Uncle Jim, I’m kind of worried. My fiance told me she’s still a virgin.” “Why is that an issue?” the dad says. “Well, if she isn’t good enough for her…

  • Microsoft v General Motors

    in

    Microsoft Vs. General Motors At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would the be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.” In response to Bill’s comments, General…

  • Beer Study

    in

    University scientists have released the results of a recent analysis that reveals the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. It turns out that the “hops” in beer contain certain phyto-estrogens, and scientists believe that be drinking enough beer, men may turn into women. In the…

  • Santy Claus

    in

    On a trip to see Santa, little Johnny climbed into St. Nick’s lap and shared his wish list. Later that day, in another store, there was Santa again! “And what would you like for Christmas?” he asked little Johnny. Shaking his head, Johnny sighed, “You really need to write these things down.”

  • The Funeral of Larry La Prise

    in

    With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey”, died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was…

  • One of These Might Have Happend to You

    in

    Take a look at these 45 items and see if you find yourself relating and laughing until it hurts! More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only…