5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Lottery Winner

    in

    A man walked into a stockbroker’s office and said to the receptionist, “I just won the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company.” Heads turned in shock at hearing the man’s language. “I’m sorry, but we don’t allow that kind of talk here,” the receptionist said. “You’ll have to leave.”…

  • Do You Believe in Me?

    in

    With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached the first man he saw. “If you believe in me enough to give me $50,” he said, “I will grant you eternal life.” “Sorry, I’m an atheist,” the fellow…

  • Lawyer Joke

    in

    I’ve often started off with a lawyer joke, a complete caricature of a lawyer who’s been nasty, greedy and unethical. But I’ve stopped that practice. I gradually realised that the lawyers in the audience didn’t think the jokes were funny and the non-lawyers didn’t know they were jokes.

  • Groups

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    Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursdays at 7:30 to 8:30, Please use the back door. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

  • Can You Explain the Rating System?

    in

    G: Jokes rated G are acceptable for everyone. No bad language and no violence or sexual references are in these jokes. PG: These jokes are suitable for most children. Mild violence or language may appear in these jokes. PG13: These jokes may contain some bad language or violence. Some mild sexual content may also appear…

  • Thing’s you don’t want to hear during surgery

    in

    1. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy. 2. “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.” 3. Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog! 4. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that? 5. Hand me that…uh…that uh…that thingy there. 6. Oh no! Where’s my Rolex? 7. Oops!…

  • Panda

    in

    A panda walks into a bar and eats lunch. When he is finished he shoots the waiter and leaves. The owner ran after the panda and asked him why he did such and thing. The panda replied, “Look up the word ‘panda’ in the dictionary.” The owner did so and it read, “Panadas are black…

  • Olympics

    in

    You might be a redneck if… You think mud rasslin’ should be an Olympic sport.

  • The Steamer Trunk

    in

    One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage. While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up…

  • Ivanna

    in

    Knock knock who’s there? Ivanna Ivanna who? Ivanna come in, dammit!

  • University of Michigan

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    I was reading an article yesterday that was talking about the University of Michigan. They referred to it as MU. This got me to thinking…. What do they call the University of Florida?

  • Most Annoying Pet Peeves!!!

    in

    These are my pet peeves in no particular order. 1. People who insult my friends. You trash talk my friends you can’t hang around me it is that simple. 2. You are talking on a cell phone not a boombox, so pick a RING not a SONG! 3. Read my rant on Darkness. It’s on…