5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Enlargement

    in

    Once there was a girl who wanted larger breasts, so one day she went to see her doctor, Dr. Smith. Dr. Smith told her to rub her breasts and repeat the following: “SCOOBIE,DOOBIE,LOOBIE, I WANT BIGGER BOOBIES”. One day she was running late, and decided to do her exercises on the bus when a guy…

  • Two Businessmen & the New Store

    in

    Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store’s shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves. One said, “I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we’re selling.” Within minutes, a man did just that, “Hey,…

  • Lottery Winner

    in

    A man walked into a stockbroker’s office and said to the receptionist, “I just won the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company.” Heads turned in shock at hearing the man’s language. “I’m sorry, but we don’t allow that kind of talk here,” the receptionist said. “You’ll have to leave.”…

  • Do You Believe in Me?

    in

    With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached the first man he saw. “If you believe in me enough to give me $50,” he said, “I will grant you eternal life.” “Sorry, I’m an atheist,” the fellow…

  • Lawyer Joke

    in

    I’ve often started off with a lawyer joke, a complete caricature of a lawyer who’s been nasty, greedy and unethical. But I’ve stopped that practice. I gradually realised that the lawyers in the audience didn’t think the jokes were funny and the non-lawyers didn’t know they were jokes.

  • Groups

    in

    Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursdays at 7:30 to 8:30, Please use the back door. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

  • Can You Explain the Rating System?

    in

    G: Jokes rated G are acceptable for everyone. No bad language and no violence or sexual references are in these jokes. PG: These jokes are suitable for most children. Mild violence or language may appear in these jokes. PG13: These jokes may contain some bad language or violence. Some mild sexual content may also appear…

  • Thing’s you don’t want to hear during surgery

    in

    1. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy. 2. “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.” 3. Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog! 4. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that? 5. Hand me that…uh…that uh…that thingy there. 6. Oh no! Where’s my Rolex? 7. Oops!…

  • Panda

    in

    A panda walks into a bar and eats lunch. When he is finished he shoots the waiter and leaves. The owner ran after the panda and asked him why he did such and thing. The panda replied, “Look up the word ‘panda’ in the dictionary.” The owner did so and it read, “Panadas are black…

  • Olympics

    in

    You might be a redneck if… You think mud rasslin’ should be an Olympic sport.

  • The Steamer Trunk

    in

    One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage. While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up…

  • Ivanna

    in

    Knock knock who’s there? Ivanna Ivanna who? Ivanna come in, dammit!