5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Lower Sex Drive?

    in

    A 97 year old man goes into his doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.” “Sir”, replied the doctor, “You’re 97. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?” “You’re damned right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want it lowered!”

  • Elderly Couple

    in

    An elderly couple was having a conversation, and the wife asked her husband a simple question :- “Boxers or briefs?” Her husband replied :- “Depends.”

  • The Pooltable Blonde

    in

    Blondes are like pool tables – every time you put a dollar in, she’ll rack your balls.

  • A Really Boring Person

    in

    You know that you’re a really boring person when someone steals your identity and then tries to give it back.

  • Science Fiction Geek Pick-up Lines

    in

    – “Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on ‘stunning.’” – “I can’t help it — my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your breasts!!” – “Nice Asimov.” – “Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody.” – “Earth woman, prepare to be probed!” – “I’m…

  • Simple Advice

    in

    By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace…….. The article read: “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.” So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished….and before leaving the house this morning…

  • The Shepherd…

    in

    A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: “If I can…

  • Yogurt

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    Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage chesse, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.”

  • Existentialists

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    How many Existentialists does it take to change a light bulb? What light bulb?

  • The Plane Trip

    in

    A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on an airplane. The lawyer gets bored, so he looks over to the blond and smiles, thinking maybe he can make use of his time. “Hey,” he says to the blonde, “Do you want to play a game?” The blonde shakes her head and…

  • Story of a happy dog

    in

    Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser’s owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out…

  • Talking With Time

    in

    What did the clock say to the wristwatch? “I enjoyed tocking with you, but now you’re starting to tick me off.”