Jokes
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Funny Newspaper Headlines
in Jokes1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say 3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case 5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 8. British Left Waffles on Falkland…
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A Meeting With the Psychologist
in JokesThis comes from an elderly man that spoke with me in a waiting room once. “I don’t like these places,” he said, “They’re always trying to find out what you’re thinking. “But I was nifty, I got around her, see. I had a way around it.” He looked at me and continued. “She asked me…
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Sheep Breeding
in JokesMany will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an Unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government. However, you may…
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Things To Do On The First Day Of School
in Jokes50 FUN THINGS TO DO ON FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL: 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, “Quite right, old bean!” 2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector. 3. Sit in the front row and spend the…
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What Men Can & Cannot Wear To A Pool
in JokesA few rules for what men can and cannot wear at a private pool. 1) Speedos. Speedos cannot be worn by men under the following conditions: 1A) If when you look down, you can’t see the color of your Speedo, you probably should not be wearing one. No matter how manly your chest may be,…
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Opposite Day
in JokesJohnny and his mother were having a parent-teacher conference. MOTHER: Johnny really enjoys having you as a teacher, Mrs. Bengal. JOHNNY: Really? I didn’t know it was opposite day!
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The Town of Chelm
in JokesThe town of Chelm decided to build a new synagogue. So, some strong, able-bodied men were sent to a mountaintop to gather heavy stones for the foundation. The men put the stones on their shoulders and trudged down the mountain to the town below. When they arrived, the town constable yelled, “Foolish men! You should…
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Bubba
in JokesBubba walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” So she wrote down…
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Walmart Refund
in JokesA woman goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn’t work. The clerk tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming!…
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Lettre De Georges Sand à Musset
in JokesJe suis très émue de vous dire que j’ai bien compris l’autre soir que vous aviez toujours une envie folle de me faire danser. Je garde le souvenir de votre baiser et je voudrais bien que ce soit là une preuve que je puisse être aimée par vous. Je suis prête à vous montrer mon…