Jokes

  • #6 Redneck

    You might be a redneck if you’ve never stayed in a hotel without stealing something

  • Dear Mom,

    It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you. I’ve been finding real passion with barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only…

  • Hindu Swamis

    Two Hindu swamis were in conversation. One said to the other, “How did you like my latest book, ‘The Art of Levitation’?” His companion replied, “It kept me up all night.”

  • Good Luck Letter

    Dear son, Good luck with your exams tomorrow. I always think that it’s best to stay up partying all of the night before an exam. Exam rooms are always a good place to catch up on sleep, because they’re silent, and there’s nothing to do in them anyway. Love, Dad

  • Ernie the Hamster

    If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish. It’s a long story but one that will have you laughing out LOUD! Overview: I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came…

  • Dealing With Snoring

    By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. ”You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. ”Or just a bed, I don’t care where.” ”Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, ”and he might be glad to split…

  • Science Announcement:

    Bread Is Dangerous 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50…

  • Adam and Eve

    After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful? God: So you will always…

  • What’s The Drill Here?

    The GOP Congress will re-introduce drilling for oil in the Arctic. Republicans say the environmental effect is minimal; a study shows caribou do not make campaign contributions.

  • Sauna Restaurant

    Have you heard about the sauna that serves food? Their specialty is steamed mussels.

  • A Lawer in a Ambulance!

    Bob and Joe, a couple of personal injury lawyers, were discussing conditions in the legal profession. “How’s business?” asked Bob. “Absolutely rotten!” responded Joe. “How have you been doing?” “Even worse,” Bob replied. “I just chased an ambulance twelve miles and found a LAWYER inside it.”

  • Jelly Donuts

    One day Jenny’s parents decided to go out to eat and see a movie. They tell her not to have anyone over. So her parents leave. About 15 minutes later she hears the doorbell ring. “Oh my boyfriend is here.” She opens the door to bring him upstairs to do some stuff. About an hour…