Jokes

  • How to Confuse a Redneck

    How do you confuse a redneck Ask him a question that is not about NASCAR.

  • Four Football Fans

    Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon: a Patriots fan, a Falcons fan, an Eagles fan, and a Steelers fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most “die-hard” fan. Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Patriots fan proclaimed to the other three……

  • That Settles It!

    Pete and Mick were in court and standing before the judge. “Why can’t this case be settled out of court?” the judge asked. Pete looked up at the judge and said, “That’s what we were trying to do, your honour, when the police interfered.”

  • Craps

    Yo mama is so dumb she brought toilet paper to a craps game.

  • “man” Jokez..n a Boy Joke..

    “Man” jokez..n a boy joke.. A man was wandering in the woods, pondering all the things of life, and his own personal problems. He couldn’t find the answers so he sought help from God. “God, God, you there God?” he asked. “Yes, what is it my son?” God answered. “I have a few questions; mind…

  • Beauty

    Beauty is only a light switch away

  • Go To Heaven

    Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do, Father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to got to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,”…

  • Some More oneliners

    I bought a book called “How to Hug,” and when I got it home, found it was volume 7 of an encyclopedia. I phoned the gym, and asked if they could teach me to do the splits. The girl asked if I was flexible, and I said I couldn’t do Tuesdays.

  • Poop Shut Up and Manners

    One day a couple of kids named “Poop”, “Shut-Up”, and “Manners” were on a bus. All of a sudden Poop falls out of the window! Manners jumps out of the bus to save him. So, Shut-Up runs to the bus driver to get some help. The bus driver asks him, “What’s your name?!” “Shut-Up.” At…

  • One Day, Huh?

    If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my Social Studies class; it would seem so much longer.

  • Pun-damentals of Punning!

    Relish today, ketchup tomorrow! A hamburger walks into the bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” I wanted to be a mime, but I talked myself out of it. Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

  • yomama

    yo momma is so fat, she put on a disney shirt and mickey mouse got diabetes. yo momma is so ugly, she makes blind people cry. yo momma is so fat, she has to hire people to look at her toes. yo momma is so fat, when God said let there be light, he had…