5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Jelly Donuts

    in

    One day Jenny’s parents decided to go out to eat and see a movie. They tell her not to have anyone over. So her parents leave. About 15 minutes later she hears the doorbell ring. “Oh my boyfriend is here.” She opens the door to bring him upstairs to do some stuff. About an hour…

  • Bomerang

    in

    Yo momma so fat she needs a boomerang to put on her belt

  • Unlucky

    in

    My granddad was a very unlucky man. He made a soft drink, and called it 1-up, but it didn’t sell. He made another, called it 2-up, which also didn’t sell. He tried yet another, called it 3-up. He got to 6-up, and quit.

  • To Grandma’s House

    in

    Nick’s Grandma gave him a map to her house. The address was 1767 Old Miffs Road. Nick traveled till he got to Old Miffs road. He didn’t pay attention to the sign and thought he was lost. He stopped at a woman’s house and she opened the door. “Why hello there!” the woman said. “Nice…

  • Attention: Keyboard Jockeys

    in

    For those with jobs that require sitting at a computer all day who don’t want to spend the money for those fancy exercise machines, here is a little secret for building arm and shoulder muscles. Three days a week is best. Begin by standing (in your cubicle works well) with a five pound potato sack…

  • Basket Ball

    in

    why are black people so good at basket ball? because they can Run, shoot and steal.

  • A Mouse Story

    in

    A city mouse had a country mouse stay for the weekend, and spent the whole time offering urban advice. On the last evening of the country mouse’s visit, they were dining in the kitchen when in came the largest cat the country mouse had ever seen. “Don’t panic,” said the town mouse, “Leave this to…

  • Cream

    in

    A guy walks into a bar and orders three whiskey sours, drinks them down BAM! BAM! BAM! Then he orders three more. The bartender’s having a slow night and appreciates the business, but is also concerned. “Hey buddy, slow down. What seems to be the problem?” The guy answers, “I went on a week-long business…

  • How to Make Your Parents Seem Senile

    in

    (especially if you do this in public) Child: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Parent: Yes, of course. Child: I mean something REALLY bad. Parent: Of course… Child: No, I mean something REALLY really bad. Parent: No… Child: No, really. Something REALLY really really- Parent: ALL RIGHT! WHAT THE HELL DID…

  • The Fortune Teller

    in

    During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die…

  • You Might be Bored If…

    in

    These are all from my experiences. That’s why they’re funny. 1. You build a miniature boat out of a hostess box, water bottles, and duct tape, and float it down a river seven times. 2. You buy a headlamp, move it in circles on the wall, and say it follows wherever my head goes. 3.…

  • Some More oneliners III

    in

    For a REAL sponge cake, BORROW all the ingredients. Diplomacy – the art of letting someone have your way. A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago. Give and you might receive; take and be sure. I can’t remember the last time I forgot something. I’m not schizophrenic, and neither am I.…