5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • No Glasses

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    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married.” “Honey,” he replied with a grin,…

  • Wonder????

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    If you’re fat. can you still disapear into thin air? If you’re fat, can you still have slim chances of doing something?

  • Cards That You Won’t Find At Hallmark

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    Cards That You Won’t Find At Hallmark – “Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: What was I thinking?” “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to…

  • All New “12 Days”

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    On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me: TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in…

  • Bumper Stickers

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    1/20/09: End of an Error That’s OK, I Wasn’t Using My Civil Liberties Anyway Let’s Fix Democracy in This Country First If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran If You Can Read This, You’re Not Our President Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet? George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have…

  • Novocain

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    “Are you sure you don’t want some Novocain?” asked the dentist. “I’m sure,” replied the maharishi. “I wish to transcend dental medication.”

  • Elephants Coming II

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    Q: What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming? A: Here come the plums; she was color blind.

  • Praying

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    Why is it that when we talk to God we call it praying, yet when God talks to us we are schizophrenic? -Lily Tomlin

  • The Brick Layer

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    Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day…

  • Now that Food Has Replaced Sex…

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    Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

  • KNock Knock Knock

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    Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey Who? Dewey(Do we) have to listen to all this knocking?

  • Funny Thoughts 2

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    Here are more funny thoughts from www.crazythoughts.com. Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you’re standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn’t you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit? Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions,…