5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Actual Answers Given on Family Feud

    in

    Name something a blind person might use – A sword Name a song with moon in the title – Blue Suede Moon Name a bird with a long neck – Naomi Campbell Name an occupation where you need a torch – A burglar Name a famous brother & sister – Bonnie & Clyde Name a…

  • The World’s Most Retarded Jokes

    in

    Person #1: “Want to hear a joke?” Person #2: “Sure.” Person #1: “Your face.” ~ Your momma is so fat, she is overweight. ~ Two turds were hanging out. The first one was moaning and groaning. The second one asked, “What’s wrong?” The first one replied, “I feel like crap.”

  • The Master Detective

    in

    That master detective, Sherlock Holmes, was sitting on his chair beside the fireplace calmly reading a book when suddenly, his good partner, Dr. Watson came in. Sherlock Holmes looked at his friend and smiled, saying, “Why, Dr. Watson, don’t you think the weather is a bit hot for you to be wearing your red flannel…

  • Clocks

    in

    there was a man who lived in a small town who did not talk much to his neighbors. the only thing they knew about him was the fact that he always had the precise time, because every day at 3:00 pm (no later, no sooner) he took a walk, and came back at exactly 3:30…

  • Installing Carpet

    in

    A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ”No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to…

  • Bread

    in

    With what kind of bread do elves make their sandwiches? Shortbread!

  • Freedom of Speech

    in

    Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is in the USA? In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the White House in Washington, DC, and yell, “Down with Reagan!” and you will not be punished. Just the same, you can…

  • Honey, I Don’t Feel Like it Tonight . . .

    in

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I’ve never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I’ve never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into…

  • Fun Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters

    in

    Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, AOL Disks, etc.) Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused. Fill a briefcase with marbles and…

  • Root Beer

    in

    Johnny: “Dad, stop drinking my root beer!!! Do I get free refills?” Dad: “Sure — I backwashed!”

  • Horse Country

    in

    A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, “Now, there’s the biggest horse’s ass I’ve ever seen.” A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him,…

  • Small Bumps

    in

    Q. What are the small bumps around a woman’s’ nipples for ? A. They are Braille for “suck here”.