5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Some More oneliners

    in

    I bought a book called “How to Hug,” and when I got it home, found it was volume 7 of an encyclopedia. I phoned the gym, and asked if they could teach me to do the splits. The girl asked if I was flexible, and I said I couldn’t do Tuesdays.

  • Poop Shut Up and Manners

    in

    One day a couple of kids named “Poop”, “Shut-Up”, and “Manners” were on a bus. All of a sudden Poop falls out of the window! Manners jumps out of the bus to save him. So, Shut-Up runs to the bus driver to get some help. The bus driver asks him, “What’s your name?!” “Shut-Up.” At…

  • One Day, Huh?

    in

    If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my Social Studies class; it would seem so much longer.

  • Pun-damentals of Punning!

    in

    Relish today, ketchup tomorrow! A hamburger walks into the bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” I wanted to be a mime, but I talked myself out of it. Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

  • yomama

    in

    yo momma is so fat, she put on a disney shirt and mickey mouse got diabetes. yo momma is so ugly, she makes blind people cry. yo momma is so fat, she has to hire people to look at her toes. yo momma is so fat, when God said let there be light, he had…

  • Dear Pastor II

    in

    Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven some day because I know my brother won’t be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said…

  • Live!

    in

    It’s impossible to be a participant in the march of time and not get a few blisters.

  • college

    in

    A man goes to school and learns stuff.

  • He Didn’t Take Off

    in

    Two old pilot friends in the Air Force were talking about the day’s activities: Jenkins (first pilot): Did you hear? Captain Smith jumped out of a B-1 bomber, without a parachute, and he wasn’t hurt! Randy (Second Pilot): That’s impossible! The fall would have killed him! Jenkins (shakes his head): The bomber hadn’t taken off…

  • Good Cat’lic

    in

    Mrs. O’Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O’Rafferty. “Hello,” said the Father, “And how is Mr. O’Donovan? Didn’t I marry you two years ago?” She replied, “You did that, Father.” “And are there any little ones yet?” “No, not yet, Father,” she said “Well now,…

  • WHY???

    in

    Why did Tom throw butter outside the window? Because he wanted to see the butter-fly.

  • Hairdressers

    in

    Q: Why are hairdressers always on time? A: Because they know all the short cuts!