Jokes

  • Where did blonde jokes come from?

    Blonde jokes started when a brunette and a red head had to much time on their hands, because a blond was out with their boyfriends.

  • You Know You’re Out Of College When…

    1. Your salary is less than your tuition. 2. Your potted plants stay alive. 3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd. 4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 5. You have to pay your own credit card bill. 6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal. 7. You…

  • Throw Up

    There were 2 guys who were best friends, Bob and Carl, that went walking everyday past a very fancy restuarant made up of very clear, expensive glass. Well everytime they went by, they would always make jokes about the rich snobs who dined there (of course because they were jealous because they wanted to be…

  • “I’d Like to Phone a Friend.”

    A man and his wife are in the bed watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” He turns to her and says, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. He replies, “Is that your final answer?” “Yes,” she said. He then replies, “I’d like to phone a friend.” That’s the last thing he…

  • Fortune or Fortunate?

    A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist,…

  • 10 Things A Man Would Never Say

    1. Happy aniversery! 2. Do I look fat in this? 3. Heres 100 dollars! Buy whatever you want. 4. I think im pregnant. 5. Do you wanna come shopping with me and my friends? We’re going to Victoria’s Secret. 6. I’m cheating on you with 1 other man and 2 women. 7. Hunney… can we…

  • Magic Show

    Billy asked his mother, “Can I go over to Little Johnny’s house and watch the magic show?” Billy’s mother replied, “Whatever do you mean, dear?” He answered, “The one Johnny’s mom performs. I heard her tell Miss Figpot that she got $600 for doing six tricks last night. That must be some kind of show!”

  • Addicted to Wocka?

    You know you’re addicted to Wocka.com when… 1.) You have dreamt of Wocka in your sleep, and have actually made up a joke in your sleep. 2.) You’ve added people to your buddy list JUST to see the last time that they’ve logged in. 3.) The top username in the rankings is your idol. 4.)…

  • A Homer Simpson Gem

    Beer… it’s the cause and solution to all men’s problems!

  • 10 Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don’t Like

    10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires. 5. If the…

  • Two Rabbis

    Two Rabbis argued late into the night about the existence of God, and, using strong arguments from the scriptures, ended up indisputably disproving His existence. The next day, one Rabbi was surprised to see the other walking into the Shul for morning services. “I thought we had agreed there was no God”, he said. “Yes,…

  • Oxygen

    Overheard at an exhibit in the science museum: “It says here that oxygen was discovered over two hundred years ago.” “Wow! What did people breathe before that?”