Jokes

  • Deer and the French

    The musician Ted Nugent was being interviewed by a British radio show, and the liberal presenter was giving him a hard time about being a deer hunter. “What do you think is going through that deer’s head when you kill it?” she asks. “Don’t you think it is wondering what it ever did to harm…

  • Quit While You’re…

    A man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and…

  • Battle of Wits

    Maurice has a business appointment, and he arrives a little early. The receptionist points to a comfortable easy chair and asks him to be seated for a while. Maurice settles down, picks up a glossy magazine opens it, and tries to read. However, he finds that he cannot concentrate because he is distracted due to…

  • Site Content

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  • How Can One Person Make So Many Mistakes…

    Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many mistakes in one day? Alfred: I get up early.

  • A Night to Remember

    A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, however, the wife wasn’t having a good…

  • You Couldn’t Make It Up III

    I was in McDonald’s one time when the lady in front of me ordered a cheeseburger and requested no cheese. Now I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a hamburger to me. Many years ago I worked in a delicatessen. The assistant manager had burnt something in the oven and smoke was pouring…

  • PEPSI COMMERCIAL

    Q> Why did Pepsi hire Michael Jackson to do commercials again? A> Because they wanted someone to suck that little boy back out of the bottle.

  • The Ring

    My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood it turns green. But when I’m in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next…

  • Hanging Right

    An attorney got home late one evening after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for his client, Wilbur Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the state governor had failed and he was feeling tired and depressed. As soon…

  • Caution…Blonde X-ing

    Q: What did the blonde say when she crossed the road? A: Hey! How’d I get over here?

  • Abbott

    Knock Knock! Who’s There? Abbott. Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door!