5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • You Couldn’t Make It Up III

    in

    I was in McDonald’s one time when the lady in front of me ordered a cheeseburger and requested no cheese. Now I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a hamburger to me. Many years ago I worked in a delicatessen. The assistant manager had burnt something in the oven and smoke was pouring…

  • PEPSI COMMERCIAL

    in

    Q> Why did Pepsi hire Michael Jackson to do commercials again? A> Because they wanted someone to suck that little boy back out of the bottle.

  • The Ring

    in

    My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood it turns green. But when I’m in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next…

  • Hanging Right

    in

    An attorney got home late one evening after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for his client, Wilbur Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the state governor had failed and he was feeling tired and depressed. As soon…

  • Caution…Blonde X-ing

    in

    Q: What did the blonde say when she crossed the road? A: Hey! How’d I get over here?

  • Abbott

    in

    Knock Knock! Who’s There? Abbott. Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door!

  • The Fabric of Our Lives

    in

    A Unitarian Universalist walks into a fabric store and asks the clerk for nine yards of material. The clerk asks, “What are you going to make?” The UU says, “I’m making a nightgown for myself as a present for my husband.” The clerk says, “But nine yards is way too much material for a nightgown.”…

  • Think Before You Speak.

    in

    Yo dadda liked women until he saw yo momma.

  • Rules to Dating A Daughter

    in

    A fathers rules to dating; Rule One – If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two – You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at…

  • Eat It!

    in

    A Chinese family of four was eating fried rice for dinner. As always, the half-blind father was last. Thinking that nojoke will care if he throws his food out, he does so, as he sees an empty garbage can. The next morning his wife says to him: “Honey, while you were eating dinner I took…

  • Success in Marriage

    in

    A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to…

  • Shtetls

    in

    During the days of oppression and poverty of the Russian shtetls, one village had a rumour going around: a Christian girl was found murdered near their village. Fearing a pogrom, they gathered at the synagogue. Suddenly, the rabbi came running up, and cried, “Wonderful news! The murdered girl was Jewish!”