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Jokes

  • Riddles

    in

    Test for Dementia “It’s that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.” Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important that we keep mentally alert The saying; “If you don’t use it, you will lose it” also applies to the brain, so..…

  • Simon the Crab

    in

    Simon the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Simon in tears. “We can’t see each other any more…” she sobbed. “Why?” gasped Simon. “Daddy says that crabs are too common,” she wailed. “He…

  • Redneck: Cotton Candy

    in

    You might be a redneck if you eat cotton candy more than three times a week.

  • Pipe Organ

    in

    A local church built a new sanctuary. They moved their very fine old pipe organ from to the new sanctuary. It was an intricate task that was completed successfully. The local news heralded, . . . “St. Paul Completes Organ Transplant.”

  • How Many Men?

    in

    Q:How many Men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 3! 1 to actually screw in the lightbulb, the other 2 need to be there so he can brag about the screwing part!

  • $$$

    in

    Yo momma is so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction!

  • Random Things 2

    in

    I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. Weird: STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS. No one ever says “It’s only a game,” when THEIR team is winning. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the…

  • Amazing Facts 13

    in

    60 The famous British one-eyed Admiral was Nelson 61 The earlier name of Sri Lanka was Ceylon 62 The UNO was formed in the year 1945 63 UNO stands for United Nations Organisation 64 The independence day of South Korea is celebrated on 15th August 65 `Last Judgement’was the first painting of an Italian painter…

  • Snake Bite

    in

    Two friends, Al and Mike, were walking through the woods, when suddenly a snake jumped up and bit Mike on the penis. He was quickly down on the ground writhing in pain, so Al yelled,”Wait here while I run and get help!” So Al runs into town, gets to the doctors office, and tells him…

  • Multiple-choice Questions

    in

    Here is snippet of section A of the curious multiple-choice entrance exam into the exclusive puzzle club. 1. The first question with B as the correct answer is: A. 1 B. 4 C. 3 D. 2 2. The answer to Question 4 is: A. D B. A C. B D. C 3. The answer to…

  • Things Your Mom Would Never Say To You

    in

    1.How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 2.Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 3.Let me smell that shirt-don’t worry, its good for another week. 4.Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed him and walk him every day. 5.That outfit isn’t sexy…

  • I’m a Jerk

    in

    One night I was feeling lonely, so I went to my girlfriend’s house. She wasn’t expecting me, but I was able to calm her down. She was a bit hesitant, but I didn’t think anything of it. I got her into the bed finally, and you know what happens next. In the morning, when I…