Jokes
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My Dad
in JokesTwo small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy. “Tommy,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy. Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.” “Honest?” asked…
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religious Truths
in JokesThere are 3 religious truths: Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian Faith Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters
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Why Not?
in JokesA mom was wanting to get her boobs enlarged. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t have enough money to get it done. In fact, she had exactly half the money needed. She was telling her son, Little Benny, “Honey, Mommy really wants to get a boob job. But Mommy has only half the money.” She hung…
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Last Words IV
in JokesOf a swimmer Saw four sharks, Off the coast. Three he missed, One almost. Tight Rope Walker Used no net, Knew no fear. Made mis-step, Wound up here. Novice farmer Here lies Clyde, Whose life was full. Until he tried, To milk a bull.
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Ten…
in JokesA man hadn’t been feeling well, so he went to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor came out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor said, “you’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” said the man. “How long have I got?”…
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Quotes From Famous Mothers I
in JokesLITTLE MISS MUFFET’S MOTHER: “Well, all I’ve got to say is if you don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be a lot more spiders around here!” ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?” GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “The…
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Good News and Bad News
in JokesA man goes into his doctor’s office to learn the results of some tests and immediately the doctor greets him by saying “Well Sam, I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?” Sam decides on the bad news first and his doctor tells him “Sam, I’m very sorry but…
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Another Miracle!
in JokesDiscovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. “Quick, man,” he whispered to the waiter, “what did they say?” “Nothing,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.”
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Bucket and Saucer
in Jokes3 married women are sitting around chatting about their married life and eventually the subject of birth control comes up. The 1st woman says, “Well, we use condoms and they seem to work ok; we only have 3 children after 20 years of marriage.” The 2nd woman speaks up. “We use the pill and it…
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Blonde Job Interview
in JokesA blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. “So, Miss, can you tell me your age, please?” The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, “Ehhhh … 22!” The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can…