Jokes
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Who’s First?
in JokesA gay couple (of guys) and a lesbian couple decide to leave from New York to Miami at the same time. The two couples are neighbors and they plan on driving the same route. so the question is who gets to Miami first? Why the lesbians of course! They go lickety split while the guys…
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Name of the Child
in JokesWhen a women found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. “Yes,” he said. “I know what we’re going to name it.…
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Is That Too Much To Ask?
in JokesSarah’s grandson is playing in the water, while she is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the boy is in the ocean. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there.…
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On Cows and Government
in JokesOn Cows and Government FEUDALISM You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk PURE SOCIALISM You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.…
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New Born Babe
in JokesTwo elderly Wal-Mart greeters were sitting on a bench during break time and one turns to the other saying, “Slim, I’m 73 years old and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age; how do you feel?” Slim says, “I feel just like a new born babe.” Rather amazed at…
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Ole and Sven
in JokesOle and Sven are neighbors in Minnesota. Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Wisconsin. He drives over to Wisconsin, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the…
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You Know You’re a Redneck When . . .
in JokesSomeone approaches you to say hi and your immediate response is, “You bet I am!”
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How Women Think About Sex
in JokesHow women think about sex: At 8, ignore it. At 18, experience it. At 28, look for it. At 38, ask for it. At 48, beg for it. At 58, pay for it. At 68, pray for it. At 78, forget it.
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“What’s Up, Doc?”
in JokesA doctor one day was accidentally cut rather badly on the leg. He went to an operating theatre and started to stitch his own leg up, using a local anaesthetic. While doing this, a colleague came into the room, and offered to help. The first doctor thanked him, but said he would carry on himself.…