Jokes
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Church Bulletin Bloopers
in JokesThis is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers: * Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High”. * Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She’s used the program herself and has been growing like crazy! * Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition…
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Sanity Claus
in JokesHere’s to all the Secret Santas! Enjoy! It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn’t. Santa was really upset. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies, the elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in, making…
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Trying on Shoes
in JokesA man goes into a shoe store and asks to try on a pair of shoes. They were a bit snug. “Well, they feel a bit tight,” says the man. The salesman bends down and feels around. He suggests pulling the tongue out, then asks, “How do they feel now?” “Well, dey shtill feel a…
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Make Her Eyes Sparkle
in JokesIf you want to know how to make a blonde’s eyes sparkle……Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Tragedy
in JokesA squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead joke. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to…
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Who Can Hang Longer?
in JokesA blonde and a brunette are hanging from a pole to see who can hang the longest. The blonde is showing off by hanging from one hand. The brunette says, “I bet you can’t do no hands.” The blonde takes the challenge and loses the contest.
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Forgien Excnanged Students
in JokesThe forgien exchanged students Jose, Doron, and Krono didn’t know any English. So their teacher asked them to go find some words. Jose goes to the airport and sees a plane. “Waz dat?” he asks. “That’s a plane taking off,” the pilot said. “Take off!” he says. Doron goes to the zoo and sees a…
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Submarine
in JokesThe new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he’d dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School. The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, “Listen, ‘sir’, it’s real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number…
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Vegetarian Woman
in JokesWhy don’t vegetarian women scream during orgasms? They refuse to admit that a piece of meat gives them pleasure!