Jokes
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Exciting People
in JokesHow many exciting people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they are VERY excited, one of them cracks the lightbulb and another throws the screw at their neighbor’s house.
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Good News Bad News
in JokesA man’s mother-in-law moves in with him. About two weeks later, he comes home and discovers her lying on the floor of the living room. He calls 911 and they send the ambulance over, and the ambulance rushes the woman to the hospital. The man is pacing the waiting room. A doctor finally comes out…
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Ex-lover Comeback
in JokesIf your ex-lover wants you back and you want him to know your serious, here’s something you could say: “Come on back and take yo space, ‘cuz if you break my heart again, I’ll break yo face”.
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He’s Dumb!
in Jokes1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. 2. The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead. 3. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. 4. Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. 5. Forgot to pay his brain bill. 6. A few clowns…
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Quack Quack
in JokesDuck #1: Quack Duck #2: Quack Duck #3: Quack Quack Duck #1 takes out a gun and shoots Duck #3. Duck #2: “Why did you shoot him?” Duck #1: “He knew too much.”
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What to Say If Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
in Jokes10. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9. “This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!” 7. “I wasn’t sleeping! I…
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Dear Departed
in JokesThe widow takes a look at her dear departed one right before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that he’s in his brown suit. She’d specifically said to the undertaker that she wanted him buried in his blue suit; she’d brought it especially for that occasion, and she was distressed that the mortician had…
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Wedding Gifts
in JokesWhat is the one thing you get at a wedding and cannot give back no matter how much you despise and hate it? IN-LAWS!
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Glory Be Unto the Father
in JokesWalking by, a minister saw his 5-year-old son and playmates find a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, the children had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and…