5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Mortgage

    in

    Little Johnny was running away from home, crying his eyes out, when he ran across a policeman. “Where are you going, Little Johnny?” asked the cop. “I’m running away from home,” sobbed Little Johnny. The cop asked him, “Why would you want to do something like that?” “My mommy and daddy don’t love me any…

  • Swimming

    in

    A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were swimming the breast stroke in a race. The blonde comes in last and says “Not to be a sore loser or anything, but I think the other girls were using their hands.”.

  • The Honeymoon is Over

    in

    As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “How did everything go?” her mom asked. “Oh, mother,” she began, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible…

  • Stop!

    in

    An RCMP officer pulled over a vehicle that had performed a rolling stop at a stop sign. When the driver was told this, he replied, “But it says STOP, not STAY!”

  • Heavy Soup

    in

    What kind of soup weighs 1000 pounds? Won ton soup!

  • Godzila

    in

    when your mom whent to China people would say “Run it’s Godzilla!”

  • WATER TO WINE

    in

    An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest. The trooper says, “Then why…

  • Jack and Jill

    in

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a quiet smoke. Jack returned with lung cancer and Jill a fatal stroke.

  • Breakfast at Looooong Last (!)

    in

    Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother’s Day morning. As the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen, she lay in eager anticipation the lovely breakfast her helpful, caring children were making for her. However, after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both…

  • Distinguishing Ranks Easily

    in

    General Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Walks on water. Lunches with God, but must pick up tab. Colonel Almost as fast as a speeding bullet. More powerful than a shunting engine on a steep incline. Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Walks…

  • Poor, Defenseless Creature

    in

    A policeman caught a nasty little boy, with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. “Now listen here,” the policeman said. “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature, I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it on the forehead and let it go”

  • Dream Drive

    in

    I often dream of the day when my car will be able to drive me home after a long hard day of work. That’s about the time the driver next to me abruptly blows his horn telling me to wake up and get back into my own lane.