Jokes
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Four Little animals
in JokesA teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?” A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals.” The teacher asked, “Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?” The little girl said, “A mink on my…
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Old McDonald…..
in JokesAn American. an Englishman and a Chinese man were all taking part in a quiz contest. One question asked them was to fill in a blank in a song title and then spell the word. The song title was ‘Old Macdonald had a —-‘. The American was first to answer – he said ‘ranch’, spelt…
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Not your Dad
in JokesOne day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can’t do it because he’s her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her…
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Kermit Jagger
in JokesA frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ”Hi,” he croaks.”What’s your name?” The loan officer says, ”My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?” ”Yeah,” says the frog. ”I’d like to borrow some money.” The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out…
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Civil War
in JokesDuring the famine of the civil war, a delegation of starving peasants comes to the Smolny, wishing to file a petition. “We have even started eating the grass like horses,” says one peasant. “Soon we will start neighing like horses!” “Come on! Don’t worry!” says Lenin reassuringly. “We are drinking tea with honey here, and…
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What’s the Difference?
in JokesWhat’s the difference between a golf ball and a woman’s G-spot? A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball!
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Mary Poppins
in JokesMary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night. “Certainly madam,” he replied courteously. “Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary. “Sorry, no,” came the reply, “but room service is available all…
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Q&A of China
in JokesDo Chinese eat dogs? Yes. And cats. Especially on our “Thanks receiving” day. Besides, turkeys are our favorite pets. In China only the most uneducated eat turkeys. China is becoming strong. Does your government want to take over the world? Yes, absolutely. As soon as we become powerful, we will invade Iraq and Afghanistan. Why…
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Snail at the Door
in JokesA man was watching television when there was a knock on the door. He answered it, but only a snail was there. So he picked it up and threw it into the street. Two years later, the man heard another knock on the door. He opened the door and it was the snail again. The…
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BANG BANG BANG
in JokesA woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber runs out and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay and the surgeon decides to leave the bullets where they are as it is too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years and then…