Jokes
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A Three Day Pass
in JokesAn Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO…
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Coincidence or Medical Miracle
in JokesThe discovery that Bush’s resting heart rate is 43 has led some observers to speculate that this is the first time we’ve had a president with a heart rate that matches his IQ.
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Lilac Crazy
in JokesThe bartender at our golf club named a drink Lilac Crazy in honour of one of the members. Every time the member came to the 19th hole, that’s exactly what he did.
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Morning After
in JokesDid you hear about the morning after pill for guys? It changes his blood type.
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Elijah and the Steer
in JokesThe Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water…
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Changing Diapers
in JokesAfter they’d brought their first baby home from the hospital, a young wife suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said. “I’ll do the next one.” The next time the baby was wet, she asked if he was now ready to learn how to change diapers. He…
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Choose a Punishment
in JokesPrivate Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offense. “You can take your choice, private – one month’s restriction or twenty days’ pay,” said the officer. “All right, sir,” said the bright soldier, “I’ll take the money.”
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Candy bars
in JokesOne day a man was watching a show that shows how people make candy bars (by the way he has one in his hand). About halfway through the show, his son comes in asks him if he could ask him a question. The man says yes so his son asks him, “Where can most criminals…