5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Jonah’s Fate

    in

    A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said, “But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale.” Irritated, the teacher…

  • Hannibal Lecter ‘n’ Britney

    in

    What does Hannibal Lecter call Britney Spears? Dinner at Hooters.

  • Answering Machine

    in

    My lover and I can’t come to the phone right now but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. Hello! You’ve reached Jim and Cathy. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy. Cathy likes doing it up…

  • Little Jimmy is Late…

    in

    One day Little Jimmy has a dentist appointment. The appointment is during 7:20 to 8:20, which is the first hour of Little Jimmy’s school. The appointment went fine, but Little Jimmy’s mom had to get up from bed early to take Little Jimmy to his appointment, so she is a little tired. Little Jimmy’s mother…

  • HO-sausage and Sputnik

    in

    What’s the difference between an HO-sausage and Sputnik? They’ve officially confirmed that Sputnik 2 had a dog in it.

  • You Might be a Redneck If……..

    in

    You might be a redneck if you carry more than two extra tires in the back of your truck.

  • Star Trek And Toilet Paper

    in

    Q: What do the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? A: They both circle around Uranus searching for Klingons!

  • Who Cares

    in

    The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.” On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes,” the boy’s mother answered. “And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. “Who…

  • Yuck!

    in

    “Mommy, I hate my sister’s guts!” “Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you!”

  • Bad Taste

    in

    One day, 15 year old Christy came home from shopping with her Auntie Kim and Auntie Flo. Christy says to her 6 year old sister, “Auntie Kim has bad taste, but Auntie Flo has good taste.” Her sister then says, “How do you know? Have you bitten them before?”

  • Its a Habit

    in

    A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that…

  • An Elderly Man Called 911…………..

    in

    An elderly man called 911 and said he thought his wife might be dead. Operator: “MIGHT be dead? Sir, can’t you tell if she is dead?” Man: “I’m not quite sure.” Operator: “Well, what makes you THINK that she could be dead?” Man: “Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are beginning to…