Jokes

  • A New Proverb

    If at first you don’t suceed…lower your standards!

  • Wagon

    One day Billy is pulling some bottles to the recycling plant in his wagon to get some spending money, he is cursing up a storm while he is pulling the wagon. He comes around a corner and sees Jenny standing on the path in front of him. “Billy you shouldn’t swear like that!” “Why the…

  • Who Gives a Hoot?

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl – and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth, with Tom even keeping a log of the “conversation.” Just as Tom thought he was on the verge of…

  • He Knows His Numbers

    The teacher asked little Andy if he knew his numbers yet. “Yes, teacher,” he said, “my dad taught me.” “Good, Andy. Tell me what comes after two,” the teacher said. “Three,” replied Andy. “Very good. What comes after five, Andy?” asked the teacher. “Six,” answered Andy. “Excellent. Your dad did a very good job. Now,…

  • History of the Internet

    In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She said unto Abraham, her…

  • Two Elephants in Your Refrigerator

    Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.

  • The Young Reporter

    A young reporter was sent on his first assignment. He sent in the following report to the office – “Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with cuts on her breasts.” The editor scolded the new reporter, “This is a family paper. we don’t use words like…

  • Watches

    What’s the difference between a jailer and a jeweler? One sells watches, one watches cells!

  • Gay Pool

    Three gay guys where swiming in a pool, some white stuff floats to the top, and one of the gay guys screams, “Alright, who farted!”

  • Slow, Really Slow…

    A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoise section. Later, the…

  • Lawyers Love Sushi

    Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? It’s called, Sosumi.

  • Rated E

    Yo momma is rated ‘E’ for everyone.