5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • How to be Politically Correct With Women II

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    She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE – she is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. She is not a BAD COOK – she is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY – she is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED. She is not CONCEITED – she is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES. She does not want to be MARRIED –…

  • Famous Quotes To Ponder

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    A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. – Robert Benchley Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. – James Baldwin Life is hard. After all, it kills you. – Katherine Hepburn If drumsticks are for playing…

  • Some Brief Thoughts on the Universe:

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    “There is a theory which states that if ever anyjoke discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” – Douglas Adams. “I’m astounded by people who…

  • A TO Z OF MR KIASU’S PHILOSOPHY

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    ALWAYS must WIN. BORROW but never RETURN. CHEAP is GOOD. DON’T TRUST anyone. EVERYTHING also must GRAB. FREE! FREE! FREE!!! GRAB first TALK later. HELP yourself to EVERYTHING. i FIRST, i WANT, i EVERTHING. JUMP queue. KEEP coming back for MORE. LOOK for DISCOUNTS. MUST not lose FACE. NEVER mind what they THINK. OUTDO everyone…

  • Fireworks

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    A special kind of firework with very bright colors and little smoke was accidentally discovered when a man tried to make the atomic bomb safer. That defeats the original purpose.

  • Noisy Neighbors

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    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him. “And how do you find the English students, Donald?” she asked. “Mother,” he replied,”they’re…

  • Ewww! (Mik And Mak from Bad News are Back!)

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    Mik: “Do skunks have a good sense of smell?” Mak: “No! If they did, they’d jump off a cliff!”

  • Cheap

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    Yo momma is so cheap, she went to McDonalds and put a hamburger on lay-away.

  • Rules for Women

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    Men’s Rules for Women ————————— 1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us bitching about you leaving it down. 2) Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 3) Saturday = sport.…

  • You Were the Fastest?

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    100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?

  • Top George Bush Slogans

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    TOP GEORGE BUSH SLOGANS 1. I’ll turn capital punishment into a new game show! 2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time. 3. I’ll finish what Bill started — the interns. 4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right? 5. Vote for the GOP, Not OPP. 6.…

  • Tiny Bikini

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    A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. Very proud, she came home and put it on. She then showed her mother how she looked in it. “What do you think mom?” she asked. Her mother replied, “If I wore that when I was your age, you would be 5 years older.”