Jokes
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25 Signs You’ve Grown Up
in Jokes1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in…
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SOCIAL SECURITY:
in JokesTwo men were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?” “Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.” “Social Security sex?” “Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!”
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The Bellhop
in JokesA man had just got to his hotel room with his newlywed wife on thier honeymoon. He said, “Let’s screw.” So they took off their clothes and got close and started kissing and the man said, “Wait, we don’t have a condom, I’m not ready for kids yet.” So the man called up the bellhop…
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Funny Small Ads
in JokesSome small ads that didn’t quite come out right on paper – For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. For Sale – Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. Great Dames for sale. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect…
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Once Again, Yo Momma. . . . .
in JokesI saw yo momma walkin’ down the street the other day, with a fat pig under her arm. So, I went up to her and asked, ”Hey, where did you get that?” and the PIG says ”I won her in a contest!”
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The Marathon
in JokesTwo fat men took part in a marathon. One ran in short bursts, and the other ran in burst shorts.
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Why are Married Women…
in JokesWhy are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.
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Drums, Drummers, Drumming
in JokesA man goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks “Wow, this is cool.” He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He TRIES to go to sleep,…