5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • The New McClinton Burger

    in

    Did you hear that in response to President Bill Clinton’s habit of dropping in on the local McDonalds, the McDonald’s national management has announced a commemorative double cheeseburger, the McClinton? Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, you never get the fries you were originally promised, and it’s got half the meat.

  • Little Willy

    in

    Little Willy, full of hell, Threw his sister in the well. Their mother said when drawing water, “It’s so hard to raise a daughter.”

  • FORE!

    in

    A man is out playing golf one day when he whacks the ball harder then usual. It goes soaring in the air, and the golfer yells, “FORE!” He runs over to find his ball, and he sees a guy holding his head in pain. The man is shouting “I will sue you, and I will…

  • Mike’s Girlfriend

    in

    After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend’s new telephone number, I dialed him — and got a woman. “Is Mike there?” I asked. “He’s in the shower,” she responded. “Please tell him his girlfriend called,” I said and hung up. When he didn’t return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. “This…

  • Waiter 1

    in

    Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. I’m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. Well, bring me the winner then.

  • Shakespeare

    in

    Knock-knock! Who’s there? Toby. Toby who? Toby or not toby that is the question!

  • Fully Recovered.

    in

    Not to worry: the man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

  • Who Wears The Pants?

    in

    A newlywed couple had just arrived in their honeymoon suite. After unpacking, the husband took off his pants. “Put these on,” he said to his wife. She did and they were obviously much too large. “There’s no way I can wear these – they’re way too big,” she said. “Good! Now you know who wears…

  • Thats a Compromise!

    in

    Q: How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They merely change the standard to darkness and upgrade the customers.

  • I Didn’t

    in

    Two criminals are talking in a jail cell. “What are you in for?” “Something I did NOT do!” “Sooo… you’re innocent? What did you not do?” “I DIDN’T run fast enough!”

  • Vacationing Wife and Mistress

    in

    A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other’s behavior. When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the…

  • Haircuts

    in

    Haircuts – The difference between men and women. Women’s version: Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute! Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking? Woman2: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair…