5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • What Time?

    in

    “Hey Sean, I’ve got a job lined up for you, can you turn up tomorrow, about tenish?” “Tennish? I don’t even have a racket”

  • Running For Office

    in

    While running for the Senate in New York, the young man’s political advisor heard some very upsetting news. “Listen,” he said, “you must go to Albany right away or you’re going to lose a lot of votes. They’re telling lies about you there.” “I have to go to Buffalo first or I’ll lose even more…

  • Christmas Present

    in

    It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures. Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to call the police. But as he was about to do so, he saw little Jimmy…

  • Not So Spoiled Brat.

    in

    One day, two children are bickering on the playground. Kid 1: My mom says that kids who get whatever they want are spoiled and rotten and stuck-up. Kid 2: Well, I’m not spoiled. Kid 1: Yeah, you are, you get everything you want. Kid 2: I don’t get everything I want. Kid 1: Yeah, you…

  • Thin Walls

    in

    Though the walls of our apartment complex aren’t particularly thin, the floors and ceilings act as amplifiers. One night, several months ago, my wife and I were lying in bed. Noticing the repeated constant sound of a bed scooting along the floor and a headboard banging against a wall, we became aware that the occupants…

  • The Statue of Liberty

    in

    Q: Why are fingers on the statue of liberty 11 inches long? A: Because if they were 12 inches they would be feet.

  • Hot New Book

    in

    101 Hot ‘n’ Spicy Meals by Tung Payne

  • Question Genie

    in

    Once upon a time, a man happened upon a magical lamp. He rubbed it and a genie came out. “Are you going to give me three wishes?” the man asked. “No,” said the genie. “I am a rare and mystical question genie. I am way more honorable than a simple wish genie! You may ask…

  • The Never Liar

    in

    There was a boy who never, ever lied. He always told people the truth and/or his opinion. Like when he broke a glass vase, he said that he broke it. He was rewarded a few days later for telling the truth, even though he was grounded. One day a lady asked him, “What do you…

  • Worms

    in

    A schoolteacher wanted to show her students how dangerous drinking alcohol could be. She brought a jar of alcohol and an earthworm to class one day to demonstrate its effects. She dropped the worm into the alcohol and it died instantly. She then asked her students what this proved. One student raised his hand and…

  • Stripe

    in

    Yo Momma smells so bad the skunk gave her his stripe.

  • Bad car Day

    in

    A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition. “What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked. The man responded, “I guess I’ll go to driving school and get my license.” At…