Jokes

  • Dog With No Legs

    Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left him!

  • Tickets

    The woman in a theatre box-office was surprised one evening just before the show at the behavior of one man. He bought a ticket, went away, and then returned a few minutes later to buy another one. He went away again, returned and bought a third ticket. Then he went away yet again, returned and…

  • Diagonals of an N-polygon

    How many diagonals does an N-polygon have? N(N-3)/2.

  • I Don Wanna Meet Yo Mamma!

    Yo momma so ugly her reflection quit. Yo momma so old that when I slapped her back her boobs fell off. Yo momma so fat when she stepped in the deepest part of the ocean, she got her foot wet. Yo momma so old and fat, she told us about the story of how she…

  • Paper TV

    A redneck taped toilet paper to his television. He said, “Hey, lookie here, now we have free paper view!”

  • 15 Things to Do in Public Shower Stalls

    1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, “I didn’t know I had one of THOSE!” 2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure you clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed all over. 3.…

  • The Baby Camel

    A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Momma, why do I have these huge three-toed feet?” The mother replies, “Well, son, when we trek across the desert, your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand.” A few minutes later, the young camel asks,…

  • Nose On Strike

    Q: What do you do when your nose goes on strike? A: Pick it.

  • Baby Turtle

    A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. When he landed at the bottom…

  • Little Brothers

    How many little brothers does it take to change a light bulb? Three- one to hold onto the bulb and two to turn the ladder.

  • Grizzly Fish

    What do you get when you cross a fish and a grizzly? A Bearacuda.

  • The Ups & Downs of Business

    El Nino storms are affecting trade with Asian countries. A freighter bound for Long Beach Calif. with a cargo of yo-yos got caught in a particularly violent storm and sank 65 times.