animal

What do you call a dog without legs? It doesn’t matter – he won’t come, anyway.

A boy went to his grandpa’s & grandma’s house. He asked his grandpa, while his hand holds a worm, “If I can make this worm stiff, would you give me $10?” His grandpa said, “Yes.” Then he sprayed the worm with hair spray, and the worm became stiff. The grandpa looked surprised. He then tells…

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow…

One beautiful morning, a husband and wife decided to go for a drive in the country. Unfortunately, no matter which road they took, they kept seeing dead possums lying on the shoulder. After several miles of this, the husband turned to his wife and said, “Now I think I know the answer to the age-old…

There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says “Jump frog, jump!”. The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops…

On the first day of creation, God created the dog. On the second day, God created man to serve the dog. On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth, especially the horse, to serve as potential food for the dog. On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man…

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

A child was born one day with a condition that limited him to only being able to whisper – unable to speak loudly or normally. At about 30 years old he finally goes to the doctor wanting to treat it. “Can you treat this condition, doc?” he whispers very silently, barely heard. “Well, I can…

Three ants went to the beach to swim. Two jumped directly in the water. The other went back home and after an hour returned. Why? She forgot her swimming suit!!

How do spell mousetrap with only three letters? C-A-T

Ever walk into a room and forget what you came in for? Well, that’s probably how dogs spend most of their lives…

What is it called when your pet snake doesn’t feel right? -reptile dysfunction.