animal

Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.

1 C A and 4 H A in a M M 1 carbon atom and 4 hydrogen atoms in a methane molecule!

If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.

Why was the fish expelled from school? He was caught with seaweed!

There was once this guy who was on a quest to cross the Sahara desert solo, we will call him Simon, for that is a good name for a camel rider. Well he started out and things were going along just fine for weeks, however gradually he noticed a change in his camel, slowly but…

In the morning elephants put springs on their feet and jump around the jungle. Now the most fearsome sound to a monkey is “Boing Boing”

Bill Clinton’s limo is driving along a back country road on the way back to Washington from Camp David, when all of a sudden a pig jumps out in front of the limo. Bill, upset, tells the chauffeur to drive to the nearest farm house so he can pay for the damages and apologize. They…

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her…

What’s the most dangerous insect? The hepatitis bee.

One fine day…. you’re just walking by…. You look at this bird…. it shits in your eye…. You don’t swear…. you don’t cry…. You just thank God…. that cows don’t fly….

Q: What to you call it when your pet jackrabbit dies? A: A bad “Hare” day

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. “How do I get him to sing?” the young man asked, excitedly. “Simply hold…