animal

Hello, I am Mr. L, as most people call me. I am going to tell you a story that happened to me years ago. Here goes! People were pouring pollution all around they world; strangely, it made certain animals turn gigantic. That happened to a dog one day, it wasn’t pretty. I don’t know why,…

What’s the difference between a Scot and Mick Jagger? Mick Jagger sang “Hey, you, get offa my cloud.” The Scot says “Hey, McCloud, get offa my ewe.”

A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?” “Two years,” says the man. “Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink. The man shrugs his…

Did you hear the one about the Polish wolf? He chewed off three legs and was still caught in the trap.

Miley Cyrus shaves more often than Justin Bieber. It seems he is using her older sisters in his videos. Most of the Justin’s concert are free because no one is willing to pay for it. Police are now using Justin Bieber’s songs as torture devices. Even deaf cannot resist the song of Justin Bieber. Kim…

A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, “But don’t worry, the cat is in heaven with God…

Cock-a-doodle-doo, it’s time for chicken, Cock-a-doodle-doo, it’s time for a feast, Eat a ninety-piece bucket then you can tell, He’s been to Cluckin’ Bell! Chicken is a bird with a tiny brain, So we assume he doesn’t feel any pain. We shrink their heads and we breed ’em fast; Six wings, forty breasts and then…

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. He says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, can you do something for him?” “Let’s have a look at him,” says the vet, as he picks up the dog, examines his eyes, and checks his teeth. “I’m going to have to put him down,” he finally says. “What?” says the…

Why didn’t the duck cross the road? To prove he’s no chicken.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!!!

A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, “Dad, am I pure polar bear?” The dad replies, “Sure you are son. I’m all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear.” Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to…

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the butcher