animal

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. “Don’t worry,” my husband reassured me. “I’ll have him trained in no time.” I watched for several days as my husband patiently “trained” our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched,…

Dave had obtained a new hunting dog and was raving about it to his colleagues at work endlessly. The dog could do this, the dog could do that, the dog was amazing, etc. Finally, after three weeks of listening to this, Dave’s coworkers demanded to go on a hunt with Dave and his dog so…

Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced. What…

One dog said to her pups, “Don’t ever bite the hand that feeds you. Any other hand is ok, though.”

Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can’t close the door.

What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine? A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

My wife and I were at an outdoor shopping mall, and I came across what I thought was a ‘life-sized’ chess board. So I began playing chess solo. Ten moves in, my wife comes by and says, “Honey, that’s a crèche!”

Which sea will make you go ape? The Chimpansea.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A licalottapus!

What’s gray, has four legs, and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.” “What’s he stuffed with?” asked the visiting hunter, and the host…

Remove seven letters from this grid to leave two numbers. S F E V E I N L V E T E T F E R O S U R Simply remove ‘SEVEN LETTERS’ and you are left with FIVE and FOUR: – F – – – I – – V – – E –…