animal

Why did the rooster cross the road? To fuck the chicken.

What is a chicken’s favorite type of joke? The human who crossed the road!!!

What do you call a horse that escaped from jail? A Zebra.

What is it called when an insect kills themself? Pesticide!

How do you get a mouse to smile? Say Cheese!

Q: What’s the difference between a rabbit and a cow? A: One’s a rabbit and one is a cow

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, “Hey, koala! What are you doing?” The koala said, “Smoking a joint – come up and have some,” so the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala, where they enjoyed a…

What is a cat’s favourite exercise? Puss-Ups!

Yo mama is so skinny Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo mama so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared.

Walking past a veterinary clinic, a woman noticed a small boy and his dog waiting outside. “Are you here to see Dr. Meyer?” she asked. “Yes,” the boy said. “I’m having my dog put in neutral.”

A man went fishing one day. He looked over the side of his boat, and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free – but then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked…