animal

Ahmed was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Tauseef Khan. As Tauseef stood beside the bed, Ahmed’s frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Tauseef lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Ahmed used his last ounce of strength to…

Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. Pluto because it’s no longer a planet.

A guy goes to the movies one day, and in the front row there’s an old man. With him was his dog. It was a sad, funny kind of film. You know the type. In the sad part the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part the dog laughed his head off.…

What do you do if you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

During a recent expedition, three intrepid adventurers were left stranded in the middle of the desert with only a crate full of apples. During the night, Alan woke up and decided to hide his share of the apples, one-third, then promptly fell asleep again. Brian woke up shortly after and also decided to hide a…

Justin Beiber doesn’t need mic to sing , no one needs mic for lip-syncing . Q: Why did the Chicken cross the Road? A:To get away from Justin Bieber!!! JUSTIN: mom i think i finally hit puberty MOM: really? how do u know? JUSTIN: I’m bleeding from my vagina. Stop making fun of him. Every…

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked. “This is not…

Q. What’s the difference between Bill and Monica. A. One can’t come clean and the other one can’t clean cum. Q. What’s Monica’s favorite instrument? A. She’s good at the piano, but she sucks at the organ! Q. How will everyone remember Bill Clinton in history? A. The President after Bush Q. What’s the new…

A farmer and his friend were leaning on a fence chatting. Suddenly, the local Game Warden showed up and insisted on checking the farmer’s property and, in particular, a certain field. The farmer refused to allow him access to the field but the Warden insisted he had the right, saying, “I’m the Game Warden and…

What did the cat say to the other cat on the phone? Can you hear me-ow?

Mrs. Biddle was walking down the street one day carrying a small box with holes punched in the top. “What’s in that box?” Mrs. Riddle asked. “A cat,” Mrs. Biddle answered. “What for?” “I’ve been dreaming about mice at night, and I’m scared of mice. The cat is to catch them.” “But the mice you…

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster – one that service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, “I have just the rooster for you. Randy…