animal

There was a quirky breed of dinosaur called an “Adoptosaurus”. Adoptosauruses laid eggs and often times forgot where they laid them or whose eggs were who’s. Basically, they “adopted” the eggs they found and claimed them as their own. Adoptosauruses didn’t eat meat because it wasn’t apart of their dino-religion. They thought eating meat made…

It’s a beautiful spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s got on a close-fitting, lowcut, pink summer dress with spaghetti straps. As they walk thru the ape exhibit, and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, he grunts,…

10=D in a M 10 decimeters in a meter.

What do you call a chicken? A chicken.

One day on a farm a farmer gets a new rooster and puts it in the hen house. The new rooster is talking to the old rooster and the old rooster says, “Just let me have 2 chickens and I’ll leave you alone.” The young rooster says, “No old man these are my chickens.” So…

Can You Decipher This Phrase? E E Y E E D D Cross eyed!

A farmer is going down the road with his horse pulling his wagon and his dog lying next to ’em. The farmer says, “It sure is hot out here.” The horse turns back and says, “It sure is.” The farmer says, “I didn’t know horses could talk.” The dog said, “Neither did I.”

Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem. Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll. Thou shall not sit in front of the television or computer monitor as thou are…

Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them!

Laws of Feline Physics II Law of Dinner Table Attendance Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. Law of Rug Configuration No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long. Law of Obedient Resistance A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.…

What does the male centipede say to the other male centipede when a female centipede walks by? That’s a nice pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs…..

Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape — that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their…