animal

There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would…

Jenny walks into a pet shop and says to Bobby, the owner, “I want to buy a canary.” “We have many types,” says Bobby, “is there any particular one you’re after?” “Yes,” replies Jenny, “its got to be a very good singer. I’m prepared to pay good money for a great singing bird.” “Lady, I’ve…

A man had a very smart dog. He tried selling it for around $45, but everyjoke thought it was too expensive. The man couldn’t lower the price because part of the deal was to buy it a new name tag, 5 lbs. of food, and a new toy. After long thought he decided to get…

Three guys are in an bar sitting around a log fire with their dogs and get to talkin’ about them. First one says, “My dog is called Woodworker. Go Woodworker!” The dog grabs a log from fire and with his teeth and fashions a beautiful figurine. Next one says, “My dog is called Stoneworker. Go…

This is a joke to do to a very gullible person. You start off by telling that person to say “Just like me”, whenever you say something. You then start: “I went to my house” Just like me. “And walked through the door” just like me “and up the stairs” just like me “and then…

1. It’s not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m. 2. It’s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her. 3. He shouldn’t jump on your bed when he’s sopping wet. 4. The cats have every right to be in the living room. 5. barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is…

A man selling hats went to a jungle for a rest. A monkey came and stole a hat. The man couldn’t catch the monkey. He realized the monkey followed the man’s actions. He threw the hat to the ground. The monkey threw the hat to the ground. He picked up both hats and went away.…

Q. What happens when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih tzu? A. You get Bullshit.

Why did the chicken do a poo right in front of a hole on a really busy footpath? Because he wanted people to slip on the poo and fall in the hole.

How do you keep a Rhino from charging? Take away its credit card.

A crab and an ant lost their homes. The crab says to the ant, “I’m going to find us a place to sleep tonight.” They’re walking and the crab sees a naked lady walking towards them. “Hey, ant. You see that lady? We’re going to crawl up to her bush and go to sleep there…

What’s a bunny’s favorite type of dance? Hip Hop!