animal

My wife and I were at an outdoor shopping mall, and I came across what I thought was a ‘life-sized’ chess board. So I began playing chess solo. Ten moves in, my wife comes by and says, “Honey, that’s a crèche!”

Which sea will make you go ape? The Chimpansea.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A licalottapus!

What’s gray, has four legs, and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.” “What’s he stuffed with?” asked the visiting hunter, and the host…

Remove seven letters from this grid to leave two numbers. S F E V E I N L V E T E T F E R O S U R Simply remove ‘SEVEN LETTERS’ and you are left with FIVE and FOUR: – F – – – I – – V – – E –…

A while back, over in Great Britain, a woman complained to the telephone company about her phone. Sometimes, it would not ring when someone called. The strange part, she said, was that when it did ring, the ring was invariably preceded by her dog barking. So she was convinced she had a broken telephone and…

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, my big brother Tom took me out on the stoop, then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, and he told me there was something that I had to know. His look and his tone I will always remember, when he told me…

Can you decipher this phrase? E N U T Tune up!

Private Benny and Private Harry are leading a donkey down a muddy road near their barracks when the animal suddenly just drops dead. An officer sees this happen, and while Benny and Harry are standing there wondering what they should do, the officer goes up to them. He quickly sizes up the situation and instructs…

Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator? A: There’s an empty Mini parked outside.

Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change…