animal

Q: What do you call an arctic animal shaped like a tooth? A: A molar bear!

Why did the squirrel cross the road? Because it was NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dogs have masters, cats have staff.

There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks. He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk. The cat starts to stumble home, and when he came to the train tracks, he didn’t notice…

Did you hear about the scientists who crossed a porcupine with a sheep? They got an animal that knits its own sweaters.

This guy at work argued with everyjoke that his pink oxford shirt was actually “salmon.” Finally, human resources brought in a grizzly bear to settle the dispute.

Why should not a chicken cross the road? It would be a fowl proceeding.

There was a man and a woman and they lived on a farm. They owned two horses, but they could not tell the difference between them! One day, the man painted a yellow stripe on the tail of one of the horses. When winter came, and the yellow had washed out from all the rain,…

Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road? A: To take over the other side.

Q: What did the Dallas chief of police say when the elephant walked into the police station? A: Nothing! He didn’t notice.

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, ”That’ll be $5000.”…

A man was sailing down the river amazon in a canoe, when he was hit by a poison dart. He woke up some time later in a cage, surrounded by a tribe chief and his minions. The chief said “You have been tresspassing on our tribes private property. You will be doomed to death by…