animal

Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow…

I know this isn’t too funny, but it’s one of those simple ones that put a smile on your face. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? A: Holes all over Australia. Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale? A: A submarine with…

A man goes to the store with a list of things he needs to buy for his wife, and as he is going in he sees a child with free kittens. He continues and buys the things on the list. On the way out he sees the free kittens again and no-one has taken any.…

A T Rex named Farrell asked his mother if he could dress up in a tutu. His mother replied, “No! Boys don’t wear tutus and dance on their tippie-toes!” Farrell yelled, “But mom!” and told his father. His father said, “Son, I’m a balerina and I dance in a tutu.” Then the mother fainted and…

OK, let’s consider the physical evidence. The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the Earth every year. Do the math and you will clearly see that 85 million years ago it was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth’s surface. This would explain the…

Can you decipher this phrase? RU[color=red]E[/color] Are you ready: [R U + red E].

What is red, black, has ten eyes, and crawls? I do not know but it is on your head.

Sure fire signs that your cow has mad-cow disease… * Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne. * She refuses to let you milk her, saying, “Not on the first date.” * Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of her ears. * Your cow gets…

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue elephant gun.

A young man went to a house to pick up his blind date. The girl wasn’t quite ready, so her father invited the lad to sit on the couch and wait. Dad sat in his easy chair and proceeded to read his newspaper, while the family dog, Rover, jumped onto the couch and sniffed out…

A city slicker was driving through the country when he spotted a horse standing in a field. He was quite taken with the animal and so pulled over to ask the farmer if it was for sale. “Afraid not,” said the farmer. “I’ll give you a thousand bucks!” said the city fella. “I can’t sell…

A couple, hosting a dinner party, were interrupted when the maid called the hostess to the kitchen. “Ma’am, the cat climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the middle of the salmon.” Light on her feet, the hostess told her to replace the missing portion with canned salmon, then returned to her guests. As…