animal

  • Cat Food Salad

    A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. “Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He’s going to be really ticked if it’s not ready on time!” she exclaimed suddenly. When she got home, she realized that she didn’t have…

  • Peacock

    Q: Did you hear the story about the peacock? A: It’s a beautiful tail.

  • A Cat’s Guide

    A Cat’s Guide: TRAINING YOUR HUMAN CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available, shag is good. DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand…

  • Two Jackrabbits

    Two jackrabbits are running from a pack of coyotes they manage to hide under a cactus. One says to the other: “Should we run for it, or wait till we outnumber ’em?”

  • Good Elephant

    A rich guy was looking for excitement so he decided to put an ad in the newspaper. The ad said, “I will give $10,000 to any person that can make my elephant jump.” So the next day, people came from all over the world to try to get this elephant to jump. There were even…

  • Rooster and Owl

    What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl? A cock that stays up all night!

  • A Paradox or a Trick?

    Please answer yes or no to this question. Is your answer “no”? Hint: This is under trick, remember. Answer: Yes or no.

  • The Old Proverb

    “Don’t be afraid of the dog,” said the lady to young Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’” “Yes,” replied young Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?”

  • Kangakes

    What is a kangaroo’s favorite restaurant? IHOP!

  • Chickens, Cows, Ducks, and Roads

    Joe:Why did the cow cross the road? Bob:The chicken quit. Joe:why did the chicken quit? Bob: He wanted a job that would give him more buck-buck-bucks. Joe: Hey! Why is why is that duck crossing the road? Bob: I don’t know. Maybe the cow qu- Hey! Why am I talking to you? I don’t even…

  • Pet Shop

    A man walks into a pet shop and says to the owner, “Do your Shih Tzu dogs breed well?” The owner says,”Sure they do.” After a minute, the man says, with a grin, “What about your bull dogs?” “Yes they breed well, too.” The man, happy with this, buys both. The owner asks, “Why do…

  • Sheep

    What do you call a sheep with no eyes? A blind sheep (what else?)