animal

  • Can You Decipher This Phrase?

    Can You Decipher This Phrase? pu Back up!

  • 6 animals.

    A teacher asked his student: Give me an example of 6 animals. The student: 3 Lions, 2 Tigers , and 1 Cheetah !

  • The Cat Who Could

    One day a cat comes walking by meowing, “I can’t do anything right.” So he keeps on pouting and somejoke comes up to him and says, “Why are you crying?” “Because I can’t do anything right.” So the guy helps the cat and a day later the cat could do anything right so he goes…

  • SMOKE G

    Can you decipher this phrase? SMOKE G Go up in smoke!

  • My Friend……….

    My friend Doug pointed up at a bird circling overhead and said, “Look, it’s an eagle!” “That doesn’t look like an eagle,” I said. “Well of course not,” he shot back amazingly quickly. “It’s travelling incognito. Haven’t you ever heard that “Eagles are Masters of De Skys?”

  • The Centipede

    A man goes into a pet shop looking for an exotic pet. The owner tells the man, “we have iguanas…”. The Man says, “No, I am looking for something really different. Everyone has iguanas, snakes, fish, and spiders!” The owner of the shop then tells the man that he has a talking centipede. The man…

  • How Much Ribbon

    My brother, Julian, is a little simple. I recently asked him to buy me some ribbon for my daughter’s pretty pink bonnet. He went to the haberdashery shop for the required length but accidentally interchanged the feet and inches. When I measured the resulting ribbon I only had 30% of the length I required. How…

  • Datsun Cogs (Cats and Dogs!)

    Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner. Dogs shed, cats shred. No one appreciates the very special genius…

  • A Man was Driving…

    A man was driving up the interstate late one night when he was amazed to see a weird creature overtake him at a great speed. He accelerated in an attempt to catch up with it, but the creature was far too quick for him and he dimly saw it run off the highway on an…

  • Roadkill

    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: SSCCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH…thump. We shall never know…

  • Frogs

    How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner. How does a frog confuse you? When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better!

  • Cat’s Diary

    DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I…