animal

Why did the cow cross the street? To get to the udder side!

This is funny

There was this really annoying elephant named Izzy who loved to brag. One day she went up to a camel, Mell, and said, “I am the most beautiful animal you’ll ever see!!” Mell looked at her like she was crazy and said no you’re not! Izzy said, “Well, I look better than you because I…

A gazelle goes out for her usual afternoon walk. About an hour later, she realizes that she is lost out in the open. Unskilled in the ways of the real world, she asks a cheetah, “Excuse me sir, do you know what time it is?” With a grin, the cheetah said, “It’s lunchtime.”

Jenny: How did the turtle cross the freeway? Forrest: I don’t know. Jenny: Take the ‘r’ out of ‘free’. Now, take the ‘f’ out of ‘way’. Forrest: There’s no ‘f’ in way!

Put the characters C – D – I – M – L – V – X in the right order – but not alphabetical. I – V – X – L – C – D – M. Roman numerals.

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doin?” his mother asked; “you can’t eat them if the seal is broken.” The boy explained, “I’m looking for the…

Lesson 5: A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump…

There were 3 ants in a house. They all had to decide where they wanted to sleep. One ant decides to sleep in the cabinet, one in the cookie jar, and one in the toilet. The next morning they all woke up and meet on the stove top to ask each other how their sleep…

1. Q: What would you do if a cheetah charged you? A: Pay him cash. (But don’t worry. He accepts credit cards too.) 2. Q: Who went into the tiger’s lair and came out alive? A: The tiger. 3. Q: If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped off, how many are…

After many years of marriage, a husband turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on for…

There was once a very stupid parrot that could only say: “Who’s there?” So one fine evening, while its owner was out shopping, the gas delivery man arrived at the door. He pressed the door bell and waited for the door to be opened. At that moment, the parrot said: “Who’s there?” The man then…