animal

Walking past a veterinary clinic, a woman noticed a small boy and his dog waiting outside. “Are you here to see Dr. Meyer?” she asked. “Yes,” the boy said. “I’m having my dog put in neutral.”

A man went fishing one day. He looked over the side of his boat, and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free – but then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked…

Ahmed was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Tauseef Khan. As Tauseef stood beside the bed, Ahmed’s frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Tauseef lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Ahmed used his last ounce of strength to…

Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. Pluto because it’s no longer a planet.

A guy goes to the movies one day, and in the front row there’s an old man. With him was his dog. It was a sad, funny kind of film. You know the type. In the sad part the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part the dog laughed his head off.…

What do you do if you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

During a recent expedition, three intrepid adventurers were left stranded in the middle of the desert with only a crate full of apples. During the night, Alan woke up and decided to hide his share of the apples, one-third, then promptly fell asleep again. Brian woke up shortly after and also decided to hide a…

Justin Beiber doesn’t need mic to sing , no one needs mic for lip-syncing . Q: Why did the Chicken cross the Road? A:To get away from Justin Bieber!!! JUSTIN: mom i think i finally hit puberty MOM: really? how do u know? JUSTIN: I’m bleeding from my vagina. Stop making fun of him. Every…

Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked. “This is not…

Q. What’s the difference between Bill and Monica. A. One can’t come clean and the other one can’t clean cum. Q. What’s Monica’s favorite instrument? A. She’s good at the piano, but she sucks at the organ! Q. How will everyone remember Bill Clinton in history? A. The President after Bush Q. What’s the new…

A farmer and his friend were leaning on a fence chatting. Suddenly, the local Game Warden showed up and insisted on checking the farmer’s property and, in particular, a certain field. The farmer refused to allow him access to the field but the Warden insisted he had the right, saying, “I’m the Game Warden and…

What did the cat say to the other cat on the phone? Can you hear me-ow?