animal

One dog said to her pups, “Don’t ever bite the hand that feeds you. Any other hand is ok, though.”

Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can’t close the door.

What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine? A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

My wife and I were at an outdoor shopping mall, and I came across what I thought was a ‘life-sized’ chess board. So I began playing chess solo. Ten moves in, my wife comes by and says, “Honey, that’s a crèche!”

Which sea will make you go ape? The Chimpansea.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A licalottapus!

What’s gray, has four legs, and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.” “What’s he stuffed with?” asked the visiting hunter, and the host…

Remove seven letters from this grid to leave two numbers. S F E V E I N L V E T E T F E R O S U R Simply remove ‘SEVEN LETTERS’ and you are left with FIVE and FOUR: – F – – – I – – V – – E –…

A while back, over in Great Britain, a woman complained to the telephone company about her phone. Sometimes, it would not ring when someone called. The strange part, she said, was that when it did ring, the ring was invariably preceded by her dog barking. So she was convinced she had a broken telephone and…

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, my big brother Tom took me out on the stoop, then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, and he told me there was something that I had to know. His look and his tone I will always remember, when he told me…

Can you decipher this phrase? E N U T Tune up!