animal

Put the characters C – D – I – M – L – V – X in the right order – but not alphabetical. I – V – X – L – C – D – M. Roman numerals.

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doin?” his mother asked; “you can’t eat them if the seal is broken.” The boy explained, “I’m looking for the…

Lesson 5: A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump…

There were 3 ants in a house. They all had to decide where they wanted to sleep. One ant decides to sleep in the cabinet, one in the cookie jar, and one in the toilet. The next morning they all woke up and meet on the stove top to ask each other how their sleep…

1. Q: What would you do if a cheetah charged you? A: Pay him cash. (But don’t worry. He accepts credit cards too.) 2. Q: Who went into the tiger’s lair and came out alive? A: The tiger. 3. Q: If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped off, how many are…

After many years of marriage, a husband turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on for…

There was once a very stupid parrot that could only say: “Who’s there?” So one fine evening, while its owner was out shopping, the gas delivery man arrived at the door. He pressed the door bell and waited for the door to be opened. At that moment, the parrot said: “Who’s there?” The man then…

What did the father buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? – Bison!

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way,…

Man 1: “My budgie lays square eggs!” Man 2: “Really! That’s amazing! Can it talk as well?” Man 1: “Yes, but only one word.” Man 2: “What’s that?” Man 1: “Ouch!”

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,”…

In biology class the teacher asks, “Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?” Little Johnny raises his hand. “Go ahead, Little Johnny.” “My uncle told me it’s because a whale raped the flounder.” “That’s terrible, Little Johnny. I’ll have to speak to your parents about this. Let’s try another one. Why does a…