animal

In biology class the teacher asks, “Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?” Little Johnny raises his hand. “Go ahead, Little Johnny.” “My uncle told me it’s because a whale raped the flounder.” “That’s terrible, Little Johnny. I’ll have to speak to your parents about this. Let’s try another one. Why does a…

A man and his parrot go for a walk and find a bunch of people trying to get a man out of a pothole. One man yells, “Throw him a rope,” so the parrot repeats, “Throw him a rope, throw him a rope.” Next, the man and the parrot go to the deli and order…

Where does Batman’s goldfish live ? In the BAT-TUB!! ahahaha…

1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap. 2. Cats look silly on a leash. 3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in…

Two robins were sitting in a tree. “I’m really hungry,” said the first one. “Let’s fly down and find some lunch.” They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate till they could eat no more. “I’m so…

Have you ever seen Moth Balls? You have!!! How did you get their teeny, tiny and poor little legs apart? Ya fiend!

A boy named John was moving away somewhere far from his the home he is already in. But he couldn’t bring the loved kitten he found. So he decided to sneak it. He stuffed the cat in a cardboard box without any holes. Suddenly his mother came up. He quickly taped it shut and put…

Q: What is brown, has four legs, and a trunk? A: A mouse coming back from vacation.

A guy was walking around town with a frog growing out of his head. Another man walks up to him and ask him, “What happened to you?” The frog answered, “Well, it started as a wart on my ass.”

Bought the wife a hamster fur coat for her birthday, she was delighted with it. We went to the fair; took me 4 hours to get her off the big wheel!

Q: What’s the difference between an elephant and a plum? A: Their color.

Old Bubba was fishing along the Bayou for catfish one day when he spots a water moccasin slithering across the water with a toad in its mouth. Being a longtime fisherman, he knows the best bait for large catfish are toads. In a flash, Bubba grabs the snake from behind and carefully removes the toad…