animal

Boys make good pets! Princess in training! At least I can still smoke in my car Caution, Blind Man Driving. “Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make.” All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have…

Why is it dangerous to go in the jungle after 5 p.m? Because elephants jump out of trees after 5 p.m. Why do beavers have flat tails? Because they go in the jungle after 5 p.m!

A cat’s dictionary. Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness. Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty. Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something. Human Being: Automatic door opener for cats. Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines. Purrson: A male kitty. Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

9 = tails of a fox.

Can you decipher the following common phrase? AND ED Underhanded!

Tired of having to stare at the luscious young kitten on the other side of the chain link fence, bold Tommy Tomcat decided to visit her one day. Settling back on his haunches, he gave a mighty leap and landed on the other side; impressed, the lovely cat sauntered over. “That was quite a leap,”…

Pigs are the fourth most intelligent animal in the world. Pig’s Tongue contains 15,000 taste buds. For comparison, the human tongue has 9,000 taste buds Dinosaurs didn’t eat grass? There was no grass in the days of the dinosaurs. A crocodile’s tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth? It cannot move. It cannot…

There were three guys at an award ceremony for their school: a not-so-smart one, an average one, and a smart one. The not-so-smart one proudly boasts, “I’m going to receive an award today!” The average one was a bit skeptical about this and asks, “What kind of award will that be?” Before the not-so-smart on…

What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a drum.

Top 10 Signs of Having Swine Flu 1. Tears flow from your small eyes during a nightly bedtime reading of Three Little Pigs. 2. A small curly tail is growing at the top of your tailbone. 3. When called to dinner, you head directly to the trough in the backyard. 4. Your thumbs and big…

Polly Perkins was after a talking parrot, so she went to the local pet shop in the hope of securing such a find. She was in luck. The shop assistant assured her that the parrot would learn and repeat any word or phrase it heard. Polly was delighted. However, a week later, the parrot still…