animal

A city mouse had a country mouse stay for the weekend, and spent the whole time offering urban advice. On the last evening of the country mouse’s visit, they were dining in the kitchen when in came the largest cat the country mouse had ever seen. “Don’t panic,” said the town mouse, “Leave this to…

A Cajun named Jean Paul moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died.” “Well then, just give me my money back.”…

Can you decipher this phrase? W O R K SEESAWS Overseas work!

Simon the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Simon in tears. “We can’t see each other any more…” she sobbed. “Why?” gasped Simon. “Daddy says that crabs are too common,” she wailed. “He…

Why didn’t Megan Fox run from the man-eating lion? Because she was a woman. *Told to me by a 7-year-old*

Here are two versions of the same story– A certain man was passing through a small town and wanted to upgrade his mode of transportation. So he looked all around this small town he was in and found that the only place he could buy a faster means of transportation was at the local monastery.…

Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink? A: To a crow bar.

Q.) Why did the dog go to court? A.) Because it got a barking ticket.

A man settles into his seat on the plane, when another man sits down and puts his black Labrador Retriever in the seat next to him. The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why he is allowed on the plane. The second man explains that he is a DEA agent and…

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken’s feet.

There was once a big ol’ tough bear strolling through the forest looking for some silly hunter to maul, when he suddenly got the urge to pass the last hunter he had eaten. He stopped by the side of the path and proceeded to dump away. Well, as he was sitting there, a cute little…

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. “Guess what, sir?” the clerk said. “I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we’ve had so long!” “Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted…