animal

A bear was bought from a Russian circus by a tourist agent after he was asked to provide an American visitor with a “wild bear hunt”. The tourist was taken to the Perdelkino Forest near Moscow and when all was ready, the bear was released. As the hunter closed in on his prey, a postman…

A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bartender here?”

What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction.

In February 1993 a train knocked down and injured an elephant calf in the Sylhet region of Bangladesh. When the next train came along an hour later the calf’s mother blocked the track, then banged her forehead against the engine for 15 minutes, until it could no longer run. Then she walked off into the…

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhowkajdjfhemfkucwrhynktjhncskhxctmcqjkhrnwuemhvtwujhmdjkwvnhtfuckfuckfuckfucksfghehfjnhjzjyh,fmjnhvyjnhmynjhctjmnhcjygcnjrhtkfhgimkkjnhmkjnhgmnjhnjynb,j

Q. What animal talks the most? A. The yak.

What’s gray and comes in packets? Instant elephant. What’s gray and comes in buckets? An elephant. What’s gray and has a trunk? A mouse going on holiday. How do elephants hide in cherry trees? They paint their toe-nails red. How do elephants get down from cherry trees? Sit on a leaf and wait for fall.…

i want to live in a big castle and to be a princess

A man was watching television when there was a knock on the door. He answered it, but only a snail was there. So he picked it up and threw it into the street. Two years later, the man heard another knock on the door. He opened the door and it was the snail again. The…

Q: What do you get when you cross an anteater and a monkey? A: I haven’t a goddamn clue.

Joe: Hi Jack. How did you like horseback riding? Jack: Not that much. The problem was that the horse was too polite. Joe: Polite? Jack: Yep. When we reached the fence he let me go over first.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot!