animal

Q. Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment? A. It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, “Have you done your chores yet?” “No,” replies the boy, “but could I have breakfast first?” “You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs.” The boy goes down to the chicken coop and…

This young girl about 7 year old had a dog which she took for a walk everyday after school. Well, one day her dog was in heat, so her father told her that she couldn’t walk the dog for a week or so because it wasn’t feeling well. His daughter became very upset and cried…

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

Q: Why do people have small dogs? A: So they can carry them in their bags, and when the person farts, they can blame it on the dog.

When the ark’s door was closed Noah called a meeting with all the animals. “Listen up!” Noah said with a demanding voice. “There will be NO sex on this trip. All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt.…

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky, you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is…

Can You Decipher This Phrase? cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat Catch 22! (22 cats).

Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A: A sweater with pockets

Some race horses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well, in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!” “Oh, that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” says another,…

What do you call a lonely fisherman? A Master-Baiter

Just after Creation the Lord noticed that the original male-female pair of snakes were not reproducing. He summoned them and said, “I thought I told everyone to go forth and multiply?” The snakes replied, “Yes Lord, but we cannot.” The Lord was annoyed and thundered, “and why not?” to which the snakes answered, “You see,…