animal

What do you call a dinosaur that is able to give you a synonym for any word you give him? Answer: A Thesaurus! 🙂

Can You Decipher This Phrase? P E T S Step up!

Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp! Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.…

A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp joke and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The…

Once, there were three male dogs that set eyes on a beautiful female poodle. They all rushed over to her. Aware of her charms, she said, “I will go out with the first one of you who can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ together in an intelligent sentence.” Immediately the Lab said, “I like…

A class is on a field trip to the zoo. They are in the farm animal’s section, and all of the sudden the entire class looks to their right and see 2 pigs going at it like it was the last day on Earth. Boy: o.o umm… teacher, what are those pigs doing? Teacher: O.O…

Hello, I am Mr. L, as most people call me. I am going to tell you a story that happened to me years ago. Here goes! People were pouring pollution all around they world; strangely, it made certain animals turn gigantic. That happened to a dog one day, it wasn’t pretty. I don’t know why,…

What’s the difference between a Scot and Mick Jagger? Mick Jagger sang “Hey, you, get offa my cloud.” The Scot says “Hey, McCloud, get offa my ewe.”

A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?” “Two years,” says the man. “Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink. The man shrugs his…

Did you hear the one about the Polish wolf? He chewed off three legs and was still caught in the trap.

Miley Cyrus shaves more often than Justin Bieber. It seems he is using her older sisters in his videos. Most of the Justin’s concert are free because no one is willing to pay for it. Police are now using Justin Bieber’s songs as torture devices. Even deaf cannot resist the song of Justin Bieber. Kim…

A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, “But don’t worry, the cat is in heaven with God…