animal

  • Puppy Photos

    Photographing a new puppy isn’t as easy as it may first sound… Remove film from box and load camera. Remove film box from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle. Choose a suitable background for photo. Mount camera on tripod and focus. Find puppy and take…

  • Lapping It Up!

    In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat. “It’s not for sale,” said the proprietor. “Look,” said…

  • Fly

    What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

  • The Strange Deer

    One time I was walking and I saw a deer then a turkey comes out and the turkey and deer interact by speaking in human words then all of a sudden a really bright light formed and the deer and turkey have fused to make a durkey a dear and turkey combined it has a…

  • Badminton

    My dog Minton has eaten my shuttle cock. Bad Minton!

  • Mee-ow!

    If there are 12 cats on a fence and 1 cat jumps off, how many are left? None, they’re all copycats!

  • 2 Penguins

    A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas-pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?” The man in the car says “I found them. I asked myself what to do with…

  • Beebee-gun

    gun(which shoots bees)

  • Sparky

    Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls? A: Sparky!

  • Little Johnny and his wagon

    A man is walking down the street. Further down the street he notices Little Johnny. Little Johnny is sitting in a red wagon, wearing a fireman’s hat. The wagon is tied to a dog, by its balls. The man says to LittleJohnny “Little Johnny you could go alot further, if you tied the rope around…

  • Piggy

    A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. “Who knows what sound a cow makes?” she asked. Cindy put her hand up and said “Moooo!” “Very good” replied the…

  • Kind of Makes You Think 13

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?