animal

1. It’s not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m. 2. It’s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her. 3. He shouldn’t jump on your bed when he’s sopping wet. 4. The cats have every right to be in the living room. 5. barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is…

A man selling hats went to a jungle for a rest. A monkey came and stole a hat. The man couldn’t catch the monkey. He realized the monkey followed the man’s actions. He threw the hat to the ground. The monkey threw the hat to the ground. He picked up both hats and went away.…

Q. What happens when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih tzu? A. You get Bullshit.

Why did the chicken do a poo right in front of a hole on a really busy footpath? Because he wanted people to slip on the poo and fall in the hole.

How do you keep a Rhino from charging? Take away its credit card.

A crab and an ant lost their homes. The crab says to the ant, “I’m going to find us a place to sleep tonight.” They’re walking and the crab sees a naked lady walking towards them. “Hey, ant. You see that lady? We’re going to crawl up to her bush and go to sleep there…

What’s a bunny’s favorite type of dance? Hip Hop!

Q: What do you call an arctic animal shaped like a tooth? A: A molar bear!

Why did the squirrel cross the road? Because it was NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dogs have masters, cats have staff.

There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks. He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk. The cat starts to stumble home, and when he came to the train tracks, he didn’t notice…

Did you hear about the scientists who crossed a porcupine with a sheep? They got an animal that knits its own sweaters.