animal

  • Jackrabbit

    Q: What to you call it when your pet jackrabbit dies? A: A bad “Hare” day

  • The Christmas Parrot

    One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. “How do I get him to sing?” the young man asked, excitedly. “Simply hold…

  • Funny Dog Stories

    The other day, I was walking my dog around my building…on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he’s gone. I put contact lenses in my dog’s eyes. They had little pictures of cats on…

  • Bubbles

    One day Jim, a duck, was swimming in a pond when he came up to another duck and asked “What are doing?” “Blowing bubbles,” she replied. Jim met 3 more ducks and they all said the same thing. When Jim came up to a 5th duck he said “Let me guess, you’re blowing bubbles?” “No,”…

  • Zoo

    Last time my friend went to the zoo, he got in trouble for feeding the monkeys… …to the lions.

  • Psychic Frog Hotline

    A local psychic hotline opened up a new number especially for frogs, called “The Psychic Frog-line.” A frog called, wanting to know his future. “You will meet a beautiful young girl,” predicted the psychic. “This is great!” said the frog. “Where will I meet her? At a party? At the pond?” “No,” replied the psychic.…

  • The Frog and Golf

    A man takes a day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole, when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it, and is about to shoot when he hears “Ribbit, 9 iron” The man looks around and doesn’t see anyjoke. So he…

  • Frog in My Throat!

    A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hamster. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The…

  • Garage Sale

    Why do you go to a black person’s yard sale? To get your stuff back!

  • A Dog and a Fox

    Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About five drinks.

  • The animal Loan

    Q: What do you call it, when a bison gets a loan? A: A Buffa-loan!