animal

Why didn’t the duck cross the road? To prove he’s no chicken.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers!!!

A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, “Dad, am I pure polar bear?” The dad replies, “Sure you are son. I’m all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear.” Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to…

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the butcher

A man had just got his car stuck in a mudhole during a drive in the country and he needed help getting it out. So he walked until he found a farm and asked the farmer for help. The farmer agrees to help the guy out. So he takes a horse out of the stable…

There was a fatal bus accident and the only survivor was a monkey. In order to fill in the blanks of the event, the police had hired a monkey trainer that could speak sign language with the monkey. The trainer first asked the monkey if he had actually been on the bus. The monkey nodded…

What did the fish say when he crashed into a wooden wall? Beaver damn!

An elephant is talking to a hippopotamus, and the elephant says, “You know, there’s nothing worse than a cold in the nose.” The hippo says, “Oh yeah? Did you never have chapped lips?”

What s green and hangs from a tree??? Giraffe Boogers

Knock knock. Who’s there? Cows. Cows who? No, owls hoo, cows moo.

Police officer: “Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle”. Dog owner: “Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle”.

1. You get mad when you don’t find a fly in your soup. 2. You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly. 3. French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you. 4. Bug lamps appear to you as a curse. 5. On applications, you list ‘Pond’…