animal

Police officer: “Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle”. Dog owner: “Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle”.

1. You get mad when you don’t find a fly in your soup. 2. You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly. 3. French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you. 4. Bug lamps appear to you as a curse. 5. On applications, you list ‘Pond’…

Q: Why do elephants have big ears? A: Because Noddy would not pay the ransom!

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You nique up on it! How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way!

Recently, Snow White’s seven dwarfs met up with three of their friends and went to the cinema to see Bambi. From the clues below, can you determine the order in which they stood in the ticket queue? Grumpy was in front of Dopey. Stumpy was behind Sneezy and Doc. Doc was in front of Droopy…

One day a cat was being trapped be a evil dog. The evil dog said”barkity kalis hed resaw miop gas.” The cat said “has that going to break the spppeeel?” Then the dog let the cat out. The next day, the cat trapped the dog. Then it happens every day with thhe same words.

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?” A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his joke hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked…

How do you make a reindeer fast? Don’t feed it.

Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini? A: Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.

Q: What is big and grey and comes in quarts? A: An elephant.

Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party? He was a pain in the neck to talk to.

After picking up food for his daughter’s cat, George spied a new bowl for the pet and grabbed it too. “Shall I have the cat’s name written on the side of the bowl?” offered the store owner. “No, don’t bother,” replied George. “He can’t read anyway.”