animal

Can you decipher this phrase? lookkool Look both ways!

Dogs… …steal your food. …eat all of your tennis balls. …make you pick up their waste products. …take all of your covers. …eat out of the trash. …beg. …bark loudly at 1:00 in the morning. …drink out of the toilet, while it still has poo in it. …have accidents, on your floor. And you call…

What do snakes use for birth control? An Anacondom!

Two maggots were playing billiards. One says, “I’m bored.” The other replies, “Beats fishing.”

A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet…

“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.” – Hippolyte Taine “No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are here to welcome me.” – Unknown “There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” – Albert Schweitzer “The cat has…

When was the price of milk the highest? When the cow jumped over the moon.

Can You Decipher This Phrase? BALLBBALLABALLSBALLKBALLEBALLTBALL Basket Balls!

What do you get if you cross a dinosaur, a tiger, a crocodile, a spider, and a elephant? I don’t know but you better get out of it’s way!

Can you decipher this phrase? T T T U I U L P L I T I P O P S E S Tiptoe through the tulips!

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ”No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to…

Little Red Riding Hood: “Oh, grandmother, what big ears you have!” Wolf: “All the better to hear you with.” Little Red Riding Hood: “Oh, grandmother, what big eyes you have!” Wolf: “All the better to see you with.” Little Red Riding Hood: “Oh, grandmother, what big hands you have!” Wolf: “All the better to grab…