animal

They have finally started practicing safe sex in Scotland… They now paint red X’s on the sheep that kick

There is a major difference between the way a dog thinks and the way a cat thinks. A dog says, “You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. You must be God.” A cat says, “You feed me, shelter me, pamper me, and love me. I must be God.”

What is black and white and red all over? An embarrassed zebra

A male gorilla at the zoo had been separated from his mate for several months and was really horny. One night after the zoo had closed and all the animal keepers had left, he decided he was going to tear the bars apart and screw the first thing he could find. As he left his…

Scientists Discover Previously Unknown Holidays by S.J.Zeve at Hacker Times December 16, 1985 Researchers at the Hacker Institute have discovered a previously unknown pair of holidays similar in nature to All Saints Day and Halloween. Researchers claim that these holidays have been missed in the past due to their rather specialized natures and a non-religious…

Can you decipher this phrase? box box box box box box box box box box box box Shit box box box box box box box box box box box box Shit in the box!

What does PPSH-41 stand for? It is:Perfectly and Painfully and Stubborn Hallucination for(4) one(1)

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn’t like men.” “Perfect,” my sister-in-law thought and took the dog. Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her…

What was the elephant doing on the highway? About 5 mph

There was a coconut tree and 4 animals. 1. A Elephant 2. A Monkey 3. A Tiger 4. A Mouse Which one of these animals is going to climb up the tree to get the banana? NONE! “There was a COCONUT TREE” “…the tree to get the BANANA”

Q: What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming? A: Here come the plums; she was color blind.

Mik: “Do skunks have a good sense of smell?” Mak: “No! If they did, they’d jump off a cliff!”